OK. So for the past couple of weeks I have been laying low. I either hang out with Tim, go to tennis, or work. Usually when I am with Tim I smoke weed. That's cool. I did today. I kind of like it more than I used to. I used to freak out and get really cold and paranoid and it wasn;t enjoyable, but now I just relax and it's cool. I am getting a car soon, and school starts Thursday. I'm a senior and I'm going to kick everyone's ass.

Claudia moved a few days ago and two days after she moved her grandfather died. I really miss her. I want to hang out with her and make jokes but I can't and that's weird and I know I won't see her again. But I am used to losing people.

The guy situation is kind of lacking. I guess Shaun is in the picture, but I don't even know what he thinks, he is always busy with something and then when he isn't then I am always doing something and we haven't seen each other in a long time. I have no idea. I hung out with Jordan and her boyfriend tonight and it made me want to have one. I miss the feeling. But then I don't miss it, I don't care, there's other things to be done.

The other night I thought about how I lived in the city. It seemed so weird to me. There was a time when my home was a small room in a dorm on Lexington Ave. When I did what I wanted when I wanted and there weren't any rules. I remember the little "summer fling" so to speak. I miss that motherfucker. I wonder what he's doing.

Anyway, I'm gonna go to bed.