This New Year's kicked ass.

Tedward invited me and Jordan to a party, so we went. I have a huge crush on Tedward. He has to be the manliest man I have ever seen. Where should I begin...hm..the fact that he's a construction worker, has a great body, a really nice personality, beautiful eyes...a hot car...ah! I could never say anything to him though, at least not when I'm sober. So I figured that this night in the midst of my drunken glory I would make a move of some sort, and what better way to kiss him when the ball dropped? It was perfect.

When we got to the party he was already pretty wasted, stumbling around, attempting to introduce us to people, and once he even collapsed onto me. Then I saw him go upstairs with two girls and I got kinda pissed, but I tried not to think anything of it because he wouldn't remember it anyway. It turns out he didn't do anything with them, he just went into a room and threw up everywhere. While he was doing that, I went into the basement where this extremely beautiful man was playing guitar. It was wonderful. He played all these cool songs that I liked and by that time I was really feeling something so it was all good. Then I went upstairs and Tedward was passed out on a chair. I think by this time it was almost time for the ball to drop. Everyone crowded into the living room around the TV, and I sat on this guy's lap. He asked if I had anyone to kiss on New Year's and I said no. So then the ball dropped and we kissed for two seconds, and then, remembering my pledge, I got up to where Tedward was passed out and kissed him on the cheek. Someone had drawn a penis on his cheek so I kissed him on the tip of it, several times, and then walked away.

I kinda don't really remember all of the events from that point on. I remember going onto the porch and smoking weed out of an apple. I remember hooking up with some other guy, Tedward waking up and letting me use his coat to keep warm. Then I remember finally passing out on the floor, waking up the next morning, going home and puking. What a great night.

That was seriously the most fun I've ever had on New Year's. I kinda kept my promise too, because I kissed Tedward, only he was unconscious and I don't think I told him that I did. Oh well. He's out of my league anyway and I don't have a chance in hell. Rob tells me to make a move but I know I never will. Tedward is untouchable. And then Rob goes and says he's gay. Yea right. It would defy nature if Tedward was gay.

I really hate obsessing over guys like this but I can't help it. It started out as a little crush but now it's growing into something else, and it feels good to like a guy who's not an asshole but at the same time it hurts to like someone I know I can never have. Eh, whatever. I guess I don't really care if he ever finds out or not. I sound like an immature little 12 year old who has a crush on a high school kid. I'm so pathetic sometimes.

Moving on, work sucked. I worked last night. For the past few days it's been the worst experience of my life. It's so fucking busy and Kevin doesn't put enough people on so we're always really behind. And then last night some guys from Waldwick came in and started asking if I had sex with Dan because that's what they heard. Mind you, this is the second night in a row at work where the name Dan has come up. What the fuck, is this public information that we dated? No I didn't have sex with him, Jesus. Why the fuck do people care? I hate that kid, I really, really do. He is probably one of the bigger mistakes I have made. It's been two and half months since our two week relationship and I still hear shit about it? Why doesn't he get over it? I'm sorry he's a cheap bastard and doesn't know anything about dating and that I had to dump him. Wait. I'm not sorry about that at all. I'm sorry he's a pathetic immature little twat and can't find anything better to do than to talk about things that are long gone. Get over it, you little shit.

All in all, I had a really fun break and an awesome New Year. I feel it was well deserved. Peace.