Well I guess it isn't really official yet, since graduation is next week, but I couldn't contain my excitement any longer. I cannot believe that I am Done With High School. How weird is that? When I came to this school as a freshman, I can remember walking down its tall, hollow hallways and thinking how I could not forsee ever leaving here. It felt as though high school would go on forever, like all of these monumental things would happen and I would be a changed person because of it. The same day, I sat in my first science class, and I clearly remember the teacher telling me that these four years would "fly by." Bullshit. Four years is a lot. A lot of tests, a lot of arguments, a lot of boredom, a lot of projects, a lot of french fries for lunch. But he was so right. I am no longer a dweeby little kid rushing around the halls trying to avoid upperclassmen who might potentially kill me. It's over. All of the things I thought would matter have proven themselves to be absolutely meaningless. Getting a boyfriend, going to parties, being popular, all that fun stuff. It means nothing now, and I couldn't believe it then when Iwas so concerned whether or not the guy behind me thought I was ugly. There were a lot of times when I would come home, upset because someone had said something to me, and all my parents could offer was that in ten years it wouldn't matter. But that was no help to me then, because what 15 year old can think ten years ahead? But they were right as well. All the wasted time I spent trying to please other people could have been devoted to something else.

A year ago I could have never guessed I would be where I am right now. I was hoping to become a famous actress and bypass college altogether, but no. I'm going to a huge school in a place far away. And I couldn't be happier to leave this town. It's not that I had a really bad time here. There was the shitty as well as the entertaining, but it is this mediocrity that has lead me to know exactly what I want later on. I'm glad my parents didn't let me run wild and do what I want. I'm glad I got a job instead of snorting coke or going to parties. I'm glad I studied and I am so glad I didn't fuck everything that moves. Yes, it all paid off now. I don't wish I had anyone's life anymore, because mine has turned out damn fine. All the people who used to make fun of me are in drug rehab centers, if they're lucky. All the times people made me feel like shit, all the times I was picked last for kickball, all the stupid relationships I've had and the petty quarrels I was a part of, it's over now. Some people are sad to be leaving. They are beginning to get very sentimental. But I wouldn't spend another day here if I got paid. I'm not like all the other clingy, emotional kids who need to be in a structured environment like high school so they can climb up the social ladder and make everyone else below them feel like shit and do really well in sports and show off their muscles and drive a nice car which their daddy bought for them and date cheerleaders and talk about all the cool parties that happened over the weekend and go to tanning salons and wear wife beaters to accentuate their toned body. Yea Mike, fuck yourself. You're probably the ugliest piece of shit I've ever seen, and I hope your high blood pressure kills you.

There are a few people I will sincerely miss. It takes a lot for me to become comfortable enough to trust someone, but there are people, and they know who they are, who have permeated my skin. I didn't need to have a lot of wishy washy friendships to have a fucking great time. With the few friends I had, we went out, had fun, and conquered North Jersey. I will never, ever forget the people who have truly touched me and changed me into the person I am today. Some of them have moved far away, and others are going long distances to college, but I will always look back at the pure, untainted fun we had. With them I laughed until I began loud uncontrollable coughing fits. We made jokes. We went on road trips. We just sat around doing stupid shit, and I love them so much. I wish I could bring them all with me, but I can't, and I can accept that. It's amazing how close your friends can become. How they are intergrated completely into your life, like they were your family. Because they are. There is no one else you can turn to at this age except for your true friends. And lucky for me, I wasn't friends with the kind of people who blab your secrets and talk about you behind your back and eventually scribble something about you on the bathroom wall. No. My friends are amazing, and I wish them the best.

Now is the time when you're supposed to bond with people who you've never talked to before. Not for me. They didn't want to know me then, and they sure as hell don't want to know me now. But I like it that way. I've came this far without being voted best looking or most likely to succeed. There's a lot of kids who flourished in high school but are getting scared now that they are being thrown into something totally new and they won't have the help of their circle of friends to pat them on the back and tell them their outfit is cute. A lot of this "oh, this is the last time we'll ever (insert stupid tedious activity here which wouldn't mean shit if it occured on any other day.)"

Get over it.

I think I'm done. Everyone who didn't like me, thought I was a bitch, or made fun of me, I'm better than you and you can kiss my ass.