I spent a long, humid four days in the loving arms of the University of South Carolina, my future home for what looks to be the next few years of my life. Yep, it was orientation, and I got oriented.

The Good News: my dorm is pretty spacious, there's central air, and I only have to share a bathroom with three other people. I'm close to all my classes and got a pretty good schedule.

Then comes the socialization part.

Man, I hate socializing. It's definitely under my Top 10 Hated things, right under Dairy Queen and people who pick their noses and eat it. I just can't do it. I think I'm a cool person with lots of things to say, but for some reason when I get into a huge room filled with lots of people, none of whom I know, I just freeze up. I become boring and arid and I like to stay in the corner. It's so hard for me to make friends. The first person I met was Sydney. Sydney was perfect. She was blonde, blue eyed, tan, and drove a silver Passat. She could always think of something to talk about. She had seen all the movies everyone else has seen and could quote accurately from them. And the guys loved her.

Don't get me wrong. She was very nice to me. I don't know if all girls do this, or if it's exclusive to me, but when you meet someone and they instantly get more attention than you, like loads more, then you can't be friends with them. Yea, I know. I'm a jealous bitch. But I can't help it. I'm short, pale, and have curly hair. I wasn't meant to hang around with socialites who wear nice clothes and play beruit all the time. Nope, not my crowd. But I hung out with her and some other kids that night nonetheless because it was either that or eat dinner with my mom. At one point they started talking about drinking, and that's when I wished I would have stayed with dear old mother. I'm not against drinking, and I plan to party a wee bit in college, but I'm not the type to party all the time, and I got a scholarship to go here and the last thing I want is to lose it because I got shitfaced at some frat house. And speaking of frats, everyone was talking about joining sororities, and that to me seems like the stupidest idea ever on so many levels. Girls telling you what to do, hazing you, making you pay, and the way they select you is crap, too. You have to apply and then they see if they like you and then they send you an invitation, like it's some high end ritzy golf club or something. I really want to have fun, but I know I need to focus on my work if I want to maintain my scholarship. I don't want to be one of those kids who drops out of school. I want to be rich and drive a nice car. So there.

Anyway, I pretty much figured out that these kids weren't my type. Any guy who even looked at Sydney was instantly mesmerized by her. You can just tell these things. Like when a guy comes over and starts talking to you but winds up staring at her the whole time. Then you pretty much know. I felt like coleslaw. Nobody likes coleslaw, but they always serve it to you anyway. Then you wind up eating it because you're still hungry after eating the thing you actually wanted to eat, and once you have cabbage stuck in your teeth you regret it.

So I took some adivce that I learned here on my loyal little journal and left my door open. Someone actually came in. It was two guys, and they were bored, and so was I, so we were bored together. We checked out some party which was down the street but then realized it was a bunch of gay guys dressed in 80's costumes and headed back to our rooms. A little later, I saw one of the guys who had popped in my room. And guess where he was. In Sydney's room. Yippee!

This whole making friends schtick might have been easier if my mom wasn't along for the ride. She always wanted to go to bed at the asscrack of night, so it wasn't the easiest to leave my door open and let the chips fall where they may. I fianlly wound up making one friend who happened to be from Jersey. We have a lot in common and she's staying in the same dorm as me, so I feel a little bit better. It took me three days to meet one person that I felt comfortable with. I haven't lost all hope. I graduated with 187 kids, and there's 5300 freshmen here. I'm bound to meet someone.

We checked out of orientation at 8 this morning. Our flight left at 3:30 which meant we had at least five hours of sitting around the airport. I bought a magazine and it passed the time brilliantly. When it was finally time to get on the plane(which had been delayed, of course) I couldn't find mommy dearest, and I had to get them to page her like an asshole. Finally she comes strolling along taking her damn time and I was like "Jesus mom, where were you?"

"Getting ice cream."

GOD.


So even though I'm a bit of a wallflower I'm still really excited to go to college, even if it is really hot and there's lots of cockroaches, or palmetto bugs as they like to say, that run rampant at night. And guys with Southern accents? Hot.