I'm just a stupid kid from New Jersey who thinks I know everything.

As college is a mere two weeks away, I've been able to look at people and things from a different perspective. I'm also pretty bored, and no one has even called me once today, so I need something to do before I find someone to cling onto tonight. So here goes.

First of all, people are fucking lazy. I think I've been over this once before, but people think if they eat 20 gallons of ice cream a day, buy low carb butter, walk up a flight of stairs, then they'll magically lose weight. Like some pill you see on TV while watching the "I'm sleeping with my adoptive mother" edition of Jerry Springer is going to instantly tone your thighs and remove the jiggle from your ass. When I used to work at Dairy Queen, people would order frozen yogurt in large and extra large quantities, thinking that as long as they don't get the taboo regular soft serve, they would be spared from a ginormous caloric intake. And cell phones. Cell phones will be the death of all of us, from their "harmful" radio waves to the accidents people get in while driving and talking at the same time to the 3rd degree burns from exploding batteries. My relationship with cell phones is nothing short of love-hate. Maybe it's not the phones themselves I loathe, but their pushy, loud, ignorant users. So let's say you come into the grocery store to buy tuna fish. Why do you need to be on the phone? WHY? What is there to possibly talk about right then at that instant that couldn't wait 20 minutes? Gee, the soap in the bathroom is foamy. There's free samples of gluten free crackers. The cashier on register 20 has a mole with hair growing out of it. THESE ARE NOT REASONS TO USE YOUR PHONE. And another thing I hate are people with those high tech supposedly hassle free headsets. They'll just be standing there on my line rifling through their purse and then all of a sudden blurt out something like, "Oh yes, Jimmy DID swallow catfood!" and it scares the Jebus out of me. Yesterday, I was putting groceries away in the aisles when I heard this distant, foreign babbling. I looked to my left, I looked to my right, and no one seemed to be the culprit. Then I see him. An Indian man with his headset, yammering on in his native tongue, wheeling around a cart and walking down each and every aisle and making the entire store victim to his verbal diarrhea. Not only was he talking extremely loud, but he smelled. And every time I walked by him I got a whiff of his natural musk. It was horrid.

The last thing I have chosen to rant about is magazines. I read a lot of them during my breaks, and all they are is one heaping steaming pile of bullshit. Magazines claim to know such things like What Guys Are Thinking or 546 Ways to Feel Beautiful and How To Tell if You're an Asshole. Lies. All lies. Every article that said guys like it if girls make the first move, that looks and weight don't matter, it was all lies. Magazines try and reassure girls that they don't have to be pretty and skinny to be attractive, then flaunt a half naked woman on the next page who is advertizing for breath mints. Then they try and make it seem like you too can dress and look like a celebrity. No, you can't. You will never have hair like Jennifer Aniston or lips like Angelina or a perfect tan like Paris Hilton. SO STOP TRYING. YOU ARE NOT FAMOUS. Fuck you, Cosmopolitan.

That about does it for me. I realize there are many more serious things wrong on this country, like terrorism and health insurance and rape and murder and drugs. That's what CNN is for.



And now for my embarassing moment of the day:
Over the weekend I went to a party at this rich kid's house, and they were all outside and my friend and I went inside so she could use the bathroom. I didn't think anyone was home, and I opened the fridge to get some water. They didn't have any. Not only that, but they didn't even have the kind of fridge that makes water. AND they had this cheap generic skanky soda. I mean, even we spring for Coke. Anywho, I said to myself, "These people are fucking rich and they don't even have any water." Then, as I was waiting for my frend to come out of the bathroom, I walked around the downstairs a bit. I peeked into one room, and there was a man sitting on a computer. He said to me, "Oh, were you looking for water?"