Every day I waste toiling at my register is another day I'll never get back, but I guess it's worth it since I want my car so bad that I'm willing to do just about anything for it. I did some calculations. When I get my car, it will be worth a year and a half at Dairy Queen and ten months at Shoprite. The fruit of my teenage years will be contained in a shiny, sexy piece of metal, and to me, a hundred old ladies yammering away about the price of parsely is worth it.

I thought I could deal with Shoprite for the few months I was home from school but I was wrong. Standing for hours. Scanning. Complaints. Returns. I just want to tell everyone to shut the fuck up. I hate that job, and people act like me squishing the bread is going to hurt my career. I would kill myself if I had to work there for the rest of my life. In fact, I have made a truce with myself: next summer, no matter what, I will not work at Shoprite. I'll only go back there if I absolutely cannot find anything better. I might even run away to New York City or something, but I just can't be a mindless drone for three months again. I need stimulation. I need to move around and take on challenges and talk to people and work towards a goal. I despise the monotony of this job. I hate the fact there is nothing else after I memorize all the produce codes or figure out what aisle the vinegar is in. Today I worked during the day and all the young people came in during lunch hour to buy food. They came from offices where they were important and meant something, where they didn't have to worry about taking off one day because of lost wages. Oh how I envied them. Me and my smock and abilities that are far greater than swiping discount cards but you'd never even fucking know it. Ramsey was a great place to grow up. It's safe with an excellent school system which, in combination with my parents' advice, has prepared me for the "real world." But it has nothing for young adults except for the one bar on main street and that's it. There's nothing left anymore for me to discover. There's nothing to do, and no one will hire someone like me except Shoprite. I just feel so stifled. I'm tired of everything being quiet and bike rides and bake sales. I want to get out of here before I stay forever. I don't want to be 20 and have nothing to show for it except stellar bagging skills. I am going to the gym.