I absolutely love American Idol, no matter how much they purposely let awful singers audition just to boost ratings and how many crude remarks Simon directs at overweight, unattractive hopefuls, but Ryan Seacrest has to be the most irritating form of life on the face of the planet. He tries to be the understanding, sympathetic host but you can tell that he's secretly laughing very, very hard on the inside as he interviews each person who did not make it to Hollywood. He looks like he's made out of wax, all shiny with his hair gelled at the same angle every time. Even his name is horrible. Seacrest. It sounds like a scented candle they discount at Hallmark stores at the end of the summer. And he stares at contestants with this blank look on his face like he's expecting them to break out in song and dance. Uh, hello, but aren't you supposed engaging in conversation, not standing there with your mouth hanging open like you were about to take a suckle from a teat? Babies stare like that too. I hate babies.