The next person who tells me that life isn't fair is going to get a swift kick in the mouth. I fail to see the logic behind this generic incompassionate statement regurgiated by people whose existences just so happen to be malady-free and perfect. It's like saying the sky is blue when someone comes to you with a problem. Yes, I am aware that all things are not created equal, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to bitch about them until I feel better about myself. What's wrong with a little bitching? Life sucks sometimes, and I am damn well going to get pissed off about it with the understanding that in time I'll get over it and move on.

And now to attack yet another group of people.

I can't understand the purpose of smoking. Do people actually think this stuff is still cool? What's even more infuriating than those who plague the rest of us with their cancer fumes are those who blame the tobacco companies for "making" them smoke. Yes, and McDonald's made you buy fries and Victoria's Secret made you buy naughty underwear, because when subjected to advertising and media influences the human mind always succumbs to these pressures without any input from free will, logic or reasoning. Smokers seem to think they have some sort of superiority over those who do not smoke. Finally, the country has come to its senses and started to ban smoking in public places like restaurants, which is the case in my state. The smokers had a fit: if we want to smoke when we eat, then we should be allowed to. It's a free country! No. No. No. You have a dirty, filthy habit that no one else wants to be subjected to, let alone be put at an increased risk for cancer while innocently eating a cheeseburger at the local diner. If you wish to yellow your finger nails, deepen your voice, strangle your lungs and rot your insides, please do so in the privacy of your own home. And please, when you are diagnosed with lung cancer, stop blaming the tobacco companies. They're merely selling a product which you so eagerly lapped up for years, just like all the other successful businesses out there. Nobody blames Budweiser for alcoholics. Nobody makes Truth ads for vodka and cranberry juice. So, if and when you get that fateful phone call from the doctor, sit back and take it like a sport. After all, life isn't fair!