The other day in my journalism class I was faithfully checking Perezhilton.com when the guy next to me turned and said, "Why do you read that crap? Why do you care what celebrities do?" Hm, good point. Who cares about a bunch of rich, skinny people who live three thousand miles away? Do their lives, their DUI's, their fleeting relationships affect me in any way at all? Of course not. Yet as I've grown older and become more aware of the political and cultural environment around me I've found that I want less and less to be a part of the environment. Every morning, after I'm done checking my celebrity sleaze, I also log on to CNN.com. Every morning, some has either died, murdered someone, caught a terrible disease, committed a stupid crime, told the U.S. they were going to bomb us, or Bush said something about the war on terror/nuclear weapons/controlling the entire world with democracy. Frankly I'm sick of it. I'm sick of hearing about people being slain in malls as they innocently embarked on Christmas shopping. I'm tired about hearing what Iran said and what Iraq did and the Afghanis who don't like us and global warming about how we're all going to die horrible atomically facilitated deaths. I'm tired about hearing of athletes who turned to steroids, took drugs, beat dogs, and cheated on their wives. If our planet is getting warmer, fine. It's not like people who stop buying their SUVs anyway, so who cares? I'd rather read about Lindsay's DUI and Britney's latest stunt because in a way those marshmallow fluff stories are comforting and I'd rather wedge myself into these people's lives than read about yet another horrific slaying.

Also, I don't quite understand why the reading of celebrity news is considered strange and obtrusive when people get just as wrapped up in sports. When you think about it, sports don't really affect people's lives. People bet on the outcomes, they get together and socialize to watch the game, but other than that, how do sports impact people? So while grunting crotch-scratching men holler and spit at a bunch of men wearing tights, I'll stick to Paris Hilton.