Working at the grocery store allows one to devote many hours to ponder over weddings, funerals and unlikely scenarios. Yesterday I concocted my perfect wedding while working the day shift.

The dress would be from David's Bridal--on sale of course. No frills, no beads, no sparkles, no planet-sized flowers. A simple white frock shall suffice, and no need to make it expensive since it will only be worn once. We'd be married at the town hall. Yeah, the town hall. Not a church or a beach. I think there is something so pure and romantic about keeping it low key. I couldn't get married in a church anyway, and some sort of marital intuition tells me beaches are overrated. It would just be to two of us along with our closest friends and family, with no wedding planners, DJs, florists or caterers to be concerned about. Instead of cake we'd order canolis and for the reception we'd head to a Mediterranean restaurant. Our honeymoon would involve us driving to the beach, eating Boardwalk fries and funnel cake and watching the sun set.

I mulled this over for at least fifteen customers yesterday and decided that this is how I want my nuptials to proceed. I don't see the sense in spending exorbitant amounts of money on flowers, ice statues and wedding favors. This is not to say that nobody else can have a lavish wedding. A wedding is probably the one day where a woman can live out her princess fantasy, look beautiful, demand attention and everyone has to comply. Big flashy productions are just not for me, and I'd rather put the money towards a down payment on a house. And for whatever reason, being quickly married in a town hall just seems so passionate. Plus they do it in the Sex and the City movie, and it was kickass. Well I'm not getting married anytime soon, and I have several months and endless hours of scanning to rework that hallowed day.