Yesterday I turned in my portfolio. A few days earlier I slept soundly with no perilous alarm clock looming next to my ear. The semester has come to a close and I can breathe again, I can lay on my pillows and immerse myself in the idea that there are no massive projects which require my attention. Many times over the course of the past few months I sat in front of my computer and cried just because I felt like it. Many times I thrashed around at night and wondered how I'd ever make it through to the other side. I swore I'd never allow myself to become that busy again, I realized the importance of having just a little free time. Even the most successful and ambitious people need a day to unwind. It's unnatural to be working constantly, it's toxic for the soul. I still have summer classes. They cut my hours at work so now I need to hunt for a second job, but if I got through this semester I can leap over any hurdle.

My last final is on Wednesday. After that I'm doing nothing. Absolutely nothing. I know in time I'll grow bored and long to fill my plate up again but right now I feel like I've eaten Thanksgiving dinner and the sight of food sickens me. I'm a little concerned about finding another job. I thought I had moved past monotonous labor, I thought I could make it through my life without having ever waited tables. Time to swallow my pride. Going back home is an option I wish not to resort to. I love my parents and I would move back home if I absolutely and desperately needed to, but my family is best left 700 miles away where they can look but not touch. My mother and I would scratch and claw at one another within the first month. I don't think there's anything wrong with going back home after college; it's a very financially suave decision to make. I just don't see any future for me at home. I like the life I have carved for myself down here and if I want it bad enough I will fight hard to make it work. What an exhilarating time.