I found this network through an old friend. She is as refreshing as lemonade on a hot day. I am grateful for our friendship.

You rock Red !!

The neighborhood in which we met was blue collar. Everyone had too many kids and too many bills. Nice place if you like social barriers and the sound of factories.

Our little neck of the woods was bizarre at best.

"Time Magazine", once wrote that our hometown had more bars & bowling alleys per capita then anywhere else in the U.S..

Shocker.

The west end was blue collar and mostly Italians.
All though at it's furthest point it stretched to the Polish/Ukraine neighborhoods


The South end was mega money, they lived in 200 yr old mansions they inherited. W.A.S.P.


The East end was rich but, multicultural, huge ass houses, filled with perfect people, (hold on I'm gagging).

If Mommy & Daddy only knew how their little angels came to us for their week-end party supplies.


Now the North end was a mostly Irish. Big ass houses just not merely as grand.


You learned the caste system quickly in that little town.

If you had the nerve to cross the lines you had to expect
a lecture from your people and theirs.

I remember dating a kid in H.S..
I really don't know why I did it.
It didn't last long, his Mommy was quick to let me know she didn't approve. I was from the West-end.

My mother's wisdom was less intellectual,
"What'd you expect their not Italian". Thanks Mom !!

She too broke that rule and paid dearly for it.


My mother's family had more than most, growing up she had department store clothes and private school. Me Nanny was a strict one and she & my Grandpa worked their asses off. Plus they came from Italy with family money.

Then my mother fell in love with my Dad. Not such a big deal right? Loving someone is a good thing. Not so quick...my Dad was a country boy, his family came from England and his Mom was part Native American.


They owned a working farm, without the luxuries. A hand pump in the kitchen sink for water, a pot bellied stove in the parlor for heat, and a 2 seat outhouse down behind the barn. Plus a root cellar under the kitchen floor. They still had an icebox, not a refrigerator. Ice was placed in it to keep things cold.

My Nanny was not pleased, AT ALL.

Her anger according to family lore was ever evident. My father couldn't please her in any, way shape or form.
Me Pops was a handsome man . Black hair and china blue eyes.
He loved my Mom and she him.

Nanny didn't agree.

She strived to tear them apart. In the end she did.

The pain was too much for my family and it didn't survive .

Their history lasted to the early 60's.

When I started school he was gone.

We were not allowed to see him, talk to him, or mention him.

I saw him once when in 3rd grade when I was creamed by a

local drunk whilst riding my bike.


He rushed to the scene when called by old neighbors. He carried me to the hospital in his backseat when the ambulance took too long. He vanished once more.


My Nanny died in 1963.

My Mom died in 1975

I didn't talk to him again till I was 24.

I then moved to Florida, shortly after he died.

I never got to see him and hadn't since the accident in 1966.




I lived in my hometown until 1984. I too had made bad choices. My life was never calm. Never happy.

I had a child when I was almost 18. The boy and I were a mess. We married and divorced in 2 yrs..

My baby was my proudest moment. I had a chance to make sure that she would have more than I did.

No one would hurt her, demean her, terrorize her.

Like I was as a young girl.

You see me Moms had a relationship with satan, he hurt her. Also he hurt us in ways little girls shouldn't have to endure.

Mom liked to hit and slap, whenever she was unhappy. That would be daily.


When I saw my child's eyes for the first time , I swore to God if I couldn't do the job properly, I'd give her to my in laws or sisters to raise her.


I never had too.

She is a Mom now, she is awesome at it. She is turning 33.

I banished the caste system from my thinking and my existence. No one was better or worse. No color, faith or creed matters to me. I have know some really amazing people.
Not once did their upbringing or background or financial worth play into our friendships.


If I find out you have an evil side I just walk away. I don't like people who exact their ugliness on others. My childhood taught me many lessons. I grew up fighting and always in protective mode. My mouth runneth over and can still to this day be quite corrosive if pushed. I make no apologies.
The teenager who was perpetually looking for a fight finally hung up the gloves at 20. I wasn't afraid of a fight.I just didn't want that a part of me on a daily basis anymore. God seemed to take the need away from me. I will be eternally grateful.

A pushover I am not. Straight spined. I looked evil in the eye. I survived.


In 2008 I turned 50. I was so amazed. 50 years of life had brought so much. People have come and gone. Some stuck around. A dear friend of mine was at the huge surprise party my children and husband gave me. She too is a survivor in her own right. We have a spiritual belief we share. She asked me what I thought of the evening.
I paused and told her I was ecstatic. I was here. You see I couldn't have imagined it, all those many years ago.
I led a life of scary proportions and had a "I don't give a fuck attitude". I tried everything and anything to bear the pain. Hung with people that most tried to avoid.
Understand I didn't expect to live.
Yet here I was at my 50th, surrounded by people who matter and had let me into their lives. People I love and who love me. She understood wholeheartedly. She said it was an awesome testimony. Thank you God for it all.


I still have a smart mouth and a quick wit. I realize that I can make mistakes and repent. I will always be a smart ass.
Swear like a truck driver and put up with no one's bullshit.
Like me or don't. I am loyal to those in my life. They know it.

Well Journal readers a little clip of me, a little. Some facts need not be reiterated. It would solve nothing.

I hope to find a peace in writing and to make new friends.

Peace, Hugs, and good things to all who read this.