I have commented before about living in Florida.

Needless to say there is an abundance of peculiarities.

At any given moment there is "BREAKING NEWS".

Immigrants making it to shore, 30 people yearning to be

free. They have sailed to the U.S. on a raft that was

crafted from a 1957 Chevy. Funny enough these people

are greeted on shore by their relatives. Okay, Cuba

is approximately 90 miles away from Florida. So who had

the cell phone to call ahead? How did they steer said

raft to the exact spot? Kinda makes you go hmmmm.

I wonder about this and I want to know how they do it.

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How about this..picture an old beat up minivan, with a

30 foot aluminum telephone pole attached to it's roof.

When stopped by the police the man was completely baffled

why he was stopped. The officer says "Sir what are you

doing with the pole on your van"? Response "I am going

to the scrap yard right over there". "Sir one you can't

carry the pole on your van". "Why not I put a flag on it".

"Sir it belongs to FPL and taking it is grand theft."

"No it doesn't, they left in on the side of the road for

months, I figured they didn't want it". "Get out of the van

right NOW Sir".The police still couldn't understand how in

hell he got it up there to begin with. It took FPL six men

and a CRANE to get it off the van. Further more just as

this scene is unfolding another man, pushing a shopping

cart rolls past the police with 3 manhole covers. He too

is going to the scrap yard. Manhole covers weigh about

300 lbs. each. He too was stumped by why he was getting

arrested for grand theft. God I love it here.

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My daughters and I venture to the mall from time to time.

We really can't behave when all together.

So ahead of us is a woman,petite, beautiful long hair,

great outfit. She's wearing heels. The whole time we only

see her from behind. As we gain on her she turns around

HOLY MOLY she's like 70, face lift so tight her eyes look

like they are going to pop out of her skull. Make up done

like a paint by number set. Blue eye shadow, black

eyeliner,mascara and false eyelashes like bat wings.

Burgundy lipstick making a mean slash across her face.

Now I am shocked because from behind she looked 25. I

don't realize it but, I'm staring like an idiot, mouth

open, one of children is making a noise that I recognize

as suppressed laughter. I snap out of it. The woman flips

her waist length hair and smiles. She toddles away on her

stilettos and I watch the reaction on the faces of other

shoppers as she makes her way through the mall. Oh baby.

Growing old gracefully the Florida way.
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South Florida is a place of Mega Bucks. You'll see things

here that you can't imagine. The mansions alone are awe

inspiring. So you can understand my bemusement when

I am entering the corner store and I pass 2 men

sitting outside, they looked down on their luck. I felt

bad. I hear them discussing where to go. One of the men

says yeah I like wintering in Florida and I'll go back

up North for the summer. The other is nodding his head in

agreement. You have to know me cuz this struck me in the

funniest way. 2 men, dirty, matted hair, backpacks,who are

smoking cigarettes off the ground are talking about their

travel plans like two millionaires.

I bought 2 packs of cigarettes, some water, some snacks

and 2 lighters. On my way out I handed them the bag. I told

them to share the stuff, as I walked away to my truck they

said thank you. I said no problem.

2 world weary travelers.

Wintering in the Florida sun.
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When visiting us bring a camera / video camera because no

one will believe you when you tell them.