When I was 15 I started driver's ed. I dropped out because I got mono.
When I was 16 I was living in Boston, and I started taking driver's ed again. I stopped because I got suspended from school.
When I was 17 I got sent to Utah. Driver's ed was not offered.
When I was 19 I got out of Utah and moved back to Dallas. I took adult driving classes. I finished. But I couldn't parallel park to save my life. Well, yes I could, but I couldn't parallel park to save J.Lo.'s life. Hell no.
So, I failed my driving test.
I have no depth perception. I suck. I can't tell what lane I'm in. I suck. The mirrors don't tell me anything. I suck.
People who bother me everyday about getting my license, I say to you: fuck off! You don't want me to drive; trust me. I'm better off without a license. I suck.
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On the other hand, I missed the GOHV meeting tonight because I couldn't find a ride. That's just pathetic. Man, I really do suck. Why the hell don't I just go get my license? I have a sweet, sweet car.
I have the kind of car you pose with for pictures. For my high school graduation (well, when I got out of Utah), my dad bought me a black 1986 Camaro Z28. She has a rebuilt carburated engine and mag wheels and t-tops and a cd player and her condition is amazing, an A minus. Jesus Christ, what a sweet car.
Oh, yeah, happy Easter to my Christian readers!
(If I have any.)
She can't "pass the emissions test" (Chris Farley air quotes), but she's my baby, Rory.
I named her after the daughter on the Gilmore Girls. Stop laughing; it's a really good show. It is, fuck off!
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I just realized that, a lot of times, I use my journal to tell people to fuck off. For this, I am sorry. I will make a "concerted effort" to stop.