I love singing nerds as much as the next guy, but I really can't see what the big deal about this guy is.

I read the other day that women have been throwing their underwear to him while he's singing on stage. I may be wrong, but I thought the phenomenon of women throwing underwear on stage was something that older generations do. You probably don't see too many 18-35 year old women throwing their G strings and thongs onto the stage. Underwear throwers below the age of 18, well that's just creepy. So what I'm thinking is going on is that some older aged soccer moms trying to relive the glorious age of Tom Jones' youth are throwing their granny panties up on stage for the young Mr. Aiken to dodge. Of course, I've also heard and read that Clay Aiken has quite a large gay following, so maybe those aren't women's underwear at all. If he does have a large gay following, maybe they ARE women's underwear after all. I think I may be running in circles. But maybe the underwear being thrown are gay men's ratty boxers.

You don't hear too often of men throwing their boxers on stage. Men who attend concerts have other ways to show their appreciation for the person on stage. Like moshing, or throwing beer bottles. Plus, men typically will save every last pair of underwear so that they can stretch the time between laundry days to the thirteenth power.

I haven't heard too many songs by Clay Aiken, but what I've heard has not impressed me all that much. Sure he has a decent voice, but so does Toby Keith and you definitely won't find me buying one of his records either. I would never be able to look another person I loved in the eye after feeling the shame of walking through the checkout line with Keith's "Shock and Y'all." I'd rather by midget porn than anything that Toby Keith has ever put out. If you ask me, the wrong artists get Dixie Chick'ed.

But I can't quite figure out what to make of the Clay Aiken phenomenon. Is it legit? Will it last? I'm not a betting man, but I'm betting that he's going to be in Vegas before he hits the age of forty. (I'm not as clever as the previous line makes it seem) Mark my word, Clay Aiken's going to be opening for Tommy Tune faster than you can say, "light in the loafers."

Putting it as blunt as I can, Clay Aiken is a nerd. The ears, the skinny frame, the freckles, the hair. He's a nerd. Being a nerd myself, I can call Clay Aiken a nerd all I want without feeling the slightest twang of guilt. If he had his own reality show on NBC, it'd be called "Below Average Joe." Part of his appeal stems from his nerdness blended with that voice that he has. It's not that his voice is completely incredible, it just catches everyone off guard to hear that huge voice coming from Dorothy's scarecrow. Watching Clay Aiken sing makes me imagine what would happen if Marvin Gaye and Jack from "The Nightmare Before Christmas" had an illegitimate child running around the world. Clay Aiken is Barry Manilow with Art Garfunkel's talent and James Taylor's charisma.

Some pop cultural explosions are just completely lost on me. Why Clay Aiken is multiplatinum and Justin Guarini is without a record contract is a human tragedy that will never be able to be explained to me.

;-)