I still have an e-mail my dad sent me about a journal he kept while he rode his motorcycle around the perimeter of Texas. I can't bring myself to delete it. Maybe I never will. God only knows...

Sometimes when it gets really tough, I imagine dad on that perimeter ride. One of the last times I ever saw dad, he spoke about how great that ride was both physically, and spiritually. I think that with his final year layoffs and job moving, it was crucial to dad's spiritual well being that he went out on his own, and had some time where he could connect with his higher power.

I like to imagine dad on that cherry red Harley, cruising along during the day. And then setting up camp at night, and just looking at the stars. I'm sure all kinds of thoughts about his life, children, grandchildren, careers, writing, etc. passed through his head on that trip.

The last couple of times I saw dad, I was really struck at how at peace he looked. My dad's outlook on the world was always so positive. He always used to remark that spiritually, things are exactly as they should be. No matter how messed up the world could be, things were going to be okay, because there was more to this world than what we were seeing. I think that on his perimeter ride, he really put his beliefs to everyday practice like he never had before. He had always believed it, but on that trip, he more or less became it. With dad, all was right with the world.

In some ways, it almost makes sense for dad to pass away when he did. If there is a God, I can imagine God saying that there really isn't much more that my Dad can achieve on this world. He had reached a level of spiritual enlightenment that he maybe never had before in his life. One of the things that he said in the last few times I saw him, was that he had made and found peace with God. He had a family that loved him dearly. He loved his family dearly. He had close friends and loved ones that would do anything at the drop of a hat to help my dad out. He helped other people find their sobriety through A.A. He was a mentor to everyone who wanted to be mentored. He had achieved everything in his career that he could hope to achieve. Although not published, he was a writer. All that seemed to be ahead of my dad was to continue being the great person, father, husband, grandfather, friend, sponsor, writer, and motorcycle enthusiast that he already was.

I can almost rationale that final perimeter ride as a subconscious communication between God and my dad, as if to say, "I'm ready." And God said, "You're ready."

and God called an angel back home.

And as my dad would have said, all is right with the world.

matt out