I was completely appalled and disgusted to see the recent pictures come out of some US Soldiers humiliating Iraqi prisoners of war. I can't say that I was altogether surprised though. Having served in the military for four years, and seen some of these people's mindset firsthand, it's almost a 100% guarantee that this was going to happen.

And it's not a United States military mindset, it's just the mindset of humans in general, that makes these recent pictures not all that surprising. Sometimes the military brings out the extremes in people. Shit that people would never even consider saying in civilian life becomes almost the norm in the military. For some people, the military is almost a 180 degree vacation. The military gives some people a 4 year vacation to feed the extreme nature of their personality. They drink heavier, curse more, make more offensive jokes, and almost systematically treat women like second hand citizens.

In my experiences, bullying in the military is basically taught from day one. Those who can't keep up and fall behind, fall under the most intense belittling and ridicule imaginable. And those who are in the same unit or platoon as these people who fall behind, are basically taught to resent that person. And the jokes and bullying start. In my 4 years, I've experienced this phenomenon on both sides of the fence. Regardless of what side of the fence you should happen to find yourself on any given instance, it's not a pretty sight.

Many times in the military, I had such an intense self hatred at the stupid shit that I did, that it was almost unbearable. At times, I just wanted to run away from my situation and never come back.

The times that I would be the one falling behind were just awful. It's an almost indescribable feeling to have people that you thought were your comrades and friends making fun of you just because you can't physically keep up. And it sucks to have those in charge of the situation make things worse by being the most vocal and physical leaders of this bullying behavior. It happened a lot in Boot Camp and in Marine Combat Training. Thank god it stopped once I got to my different units. If I hadn't been in the Marine Band program, I probably would have gone AWOL or just gone crazy.

But as much as it sucked to be the object of bullying behavior, it paled in comparison to being the one that did the bullying. It's easier to be bullied than it is to be the bully. You figure that when you're the bullied, as long as you're mentally tough and are secure with yourself, there really isn't much they can say or physically do that'll break you. When you're the bully, that's harder. Because being a bully means that you're insecure. It means that you're SOO insecure with yourself that you feel the need to take out your insecurities on other people come hell or high water. Looking back now, it almost seems so clear now. But that behavior that was heaped on me in Boot Camp and MCT was the cause, me becoming a bully in turn was the effect. It's almost too easy to see that now.

For a while there, it seemed that if there was a sexist and/or racist joke to be said, I was either laughing at it or saying it myself. Not so much racism, but in the Marines it almost becomes second nature to be a sexist. Like bullying, sexism is another one of those traits that is ingrained into your brain from the first day of boot camp. From the chants we'd say on runs, to the jokes we'd make in the barracks, to the jokes and remarks the Drill Instructors would tell us as we worked out, it's almost a complete indoctrination type of thing. It's fucking scary thinking about it now.

And for a while in the Marines, I became that asshole that I hated in Boot Camp and MCT. I can think of 2 or 3 people right off the top of my head that became the object of my teasing and ridicule. And I'm not meaning just the most innocuous type of teasing that everyone does, but I mean flat out, hard core bullying shit.

Looking back another thing that has become painfully clear is that sometimes we're judged by the company we keep. In my entire 4 years in the Marines, I've been friends with 3 rapists and too many adulterers to count. Come to think of it, if it hadn't been for my true friends like Drew, Eric, and Robert I don't know how I would have made it through the Marines without going crazy. I feel fortunate that they were appeared secure enough with themselves to not resort to this behavior on the same level that I did.

In many ways, looking back on all this, it almost makes it obvious why I had a bit of a hard time adjusting to my first few years out of the Marines. Not only did I have to unlearn a lot of bad behavior that I had learned in the Marines, I was simultaneously learning that there was a new way of life out there that saw the good in people and celebrated diversity. I was relearning a way of life that saw people not as objects, but as people. I was relearning all over again, that people have feelings, and that these feelings could be hurt. And I regained my sense of decency that I felt like had disregarded for a good portion of my military service.

So yeah, I'm not all that surprised to see that there are troops mentally and physically demeaning Prisoners of War because it almost seems like it's a taught behavior in the military. No...they don't flat out teach you those stupid ass tactics that they were using in those pictures, but in many cases, they teach you the behavior that makes those pictures able to happen in the first place.

Never forget that bullying is the tactic of the insecure. If you're in an insecure place, it's easy to bully. And when you mix that insecurity with other people's insecurities, you usually have the recipe for disaster. Because I'd imagine that those people in the pictures would never have done that stuff if it had been just them individually. But because they were able to convince each other that they were justified in their actions, they were able to bypass their better judgment and morals to commit acts that went against every basic code of human decency. As the saying goes, "a person" is not really all that dangerous. It's "people" that you have to worry about.

matt out