F I R S T S.

First best friend: My first best friends were obviously my siblings. But if we're going outside of my family, my friend Rahim Visram. We were best buds.

First car: The first car that I owned all on my own is my 1996 GEO Prizm. It still runs great after all these years. It only has 67,000 miles on it. Not bad for a 10 year old car that's supposed to last well past 150,000 miles.

First date: I went to Homecoming Dance with a nice Mormon girl named Lisa Stotts. There are two types of Mormons; those devout and those in recovery. She was the former. Needless to say the date was a bit stiff. We danced with at least 6 inches between us, which is the dating equivalent of driving at 10 and 2.

First crush: Nearly impossible to recollect. I did have a girlfriend when I was a wee little lad in first or second grade. Up until I was 24, she was the only stable relationship I ever had.

First real kiss: You mean kissing the back of one's hand doesn't count? In that case, I'd have to say Janelle. Talk about a relationship that fizzled faster than 2 day old RC Cola.

First break-up: I dated my friend Ryan for about 2 months. She was great, but I thought that I liked the relationship better as friends. We remain friends to this day.

First Self purchased album: My sister turned me on to a young crooner named Harry Connick J.R. I think the first cd I purchased was either his "When Harry Met Sally" soundtrack, or his cd titled "We Are In Love." I still listen to them from time to time. Wait, I re-read the question. It says the first self purchased ALBUM. I totally forgot about records. In that case, like any male of my generation, the first album I purchased was probably of the Weird Al Yankovic variety. I also distinctly remember owning the soundtrack to "Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol." That album was KRUNK!!!

First funeral: My dad's funeral. Talk about jumping into a pool of cold water without a warm-up.

First piercing/tattoo: I got a Marine Corps tatoo in the summer of 1998. The tatoo artist was a Japanese monk who earns money giving drunk Marines their requisite tattoos. I didn't drink at the time so I don't know what my excuse was.

First credit card: My Visa card that's a hop, skip, and a jump from being maxed out. Let's hear it for tuition increases. Oh well, guess we have to bite the bullet so that we can go bomb brown people.

First true love: Anya. She's the first person outside of my family that I've ever trully loved. It was a momentous occasion when I came to that realization.

First enemy: Doug Cardwell. He was this plump, Doughboy looking mother fucker who was just a flat out asshole. He had red hair and a Milky Way of freckles all over his face. If I ever see him again, I'm going to slash his tires. Or bust his tail lights out. ;-)

First musician you remember hearing in your house: I was born in 1977. I'm sure that it's probably Joe Cocker since both my mom and dad were fans. My mom used to sing "You Are So Beautiful" to me before I'd fall asleep. But the first musician that I distinctly remember hearing is Michael Jackson via an infant MTV. I was 6 when "Thriller" came out. It doesn't get any better than 1980's, pre-hair fire, pre-baby dangling, "pre-king of pop," pre pre-white woman, pre-child molestor MJ.

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L A S T S.

Last cigarette: The summer of 2000. I smoked a Marlboro Red cigarette which was proceeded by me wondering why my room was spinning. They say tobacco is more addictive than heroin and a whole helluva lot less fun. That's why I prefer shooting up.

Last car ride: My homeboy Jace and I drove to Best Buy yesterday. Best Buy for me is like Mecca to Muslims. You make a pilgrimmage every so often and come back feeling refreshed and spiritually awakened.

Last good cry: Oh my goodness. I sobbed like crazy after Tim Burton's "Big Fish." It brought up so much great stuff about my dad. It's a really beautiful movie.

Last library book I bought: This question is stupid. You don't buy library books, you check them out. The only time you buy books at a library is when they're so far past the due date that the fine exceeds the price of the book. I do have some books checked out right now that probably meet that criteria. (hint hint) If you're lost about that hint, don't worry about it. ;-)

Last beverage drank: I downed a tall glass of water and a 12 ounce bottle of Lemon-Lime Gatorade. I had a huge headache that needed some hydrating remedies applied to it. Take that Mean Mr. Headache. Booyakasha!

Last food consumed: Last night I had some Cinnabon flavored pop corn. If you see it in the grocery store and find yourself wondering if Cinnabon popcorn can really be *that* good, the answer is a resounding YES!

Last crush: I had a crush on a girl named Erin. We almost dated but that too fizzled out rather quickly. I'm glad we didn't date though.

Last phone call: I'm at a job where I answer the phone well over 100 times a day. Pretty miserable existence I live. :-(

Last time showered: This morning at 7:00.

Last CD played: Weezer's self-titled debut. "The Blue Album."

Last annoyance: Look up about three lines to my last post about work.

Last disappointment: I was pretty disappointed with "Garden State." I was expecting a classic. My hopes were up way too high.

Last word you said: "Good-bye" to a student on the phone. I hate my job.

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F U T U R E.

Where do you want to go?: To the Northeast. I'd love to see Boston and New York city. I'd like to go to Maine so I can see where Stephen King pulled so much material from. I've always wanted to go to Amsterdam. Depending on how things turn out on Nov. 2nd, Canada is looking pretty nice.

Your career going to be?: I'd like to be a writer. My new life goal is to become an English teacher at a high school near the lake/ocean/river that I'm going to live close to. So that way, I can spend my weekends having a fun time with different aquatic activities. They need teachers in San Diego right? It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.

Where are you going to live?: I'd like to live near water.

Do you want any kids?: I'm totally on the fence.

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C U R R E N T S.

Current mood: Belligerent.

Current taste: A mix of mouthwash and Gatorade.

Current clothes: I'm wearing shorts, a Million Mom March t-shirt, and sandals. Were you expecting differently?

Current longing: Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.

Current favorite artist: Elliott Smith and Aimee Mann

Current book you're reading: Sadly, nothing. I don't read enough. It's actually one of the things about my life that I'm somewhat ashamed of.
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W H A T S.

What's in your CD player?: Hasn't this been asked already?

What color socks are you wearing?: I wear sandals or flip-flops daily.

What color of underwear are you wearing: Let me check...blue boxers.

What's under your bed?: My bed is a box spring and a mattress lying on the floor. I don't have a bed frame, so the only way I can answer this question is "dead prostitute."

What time did you wake up today?: 7-ish
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I hate how abruptly these surveys end. That was fun.

matt out