A random dose of insanity...







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-Hiya Ty. So, how is it?

-It's... you know. Quiet.

-Yeah, I noticed how quiet it was in here. So: what you doing?

-Just adding to my Spider Collection. I wanna try to impress Sally later.

-Sally? Who in the blazes is that?

-I met a girl earlier. Sally.

-You mean... you went outside?

-Yeah. I got tanked up on the WB earlier. Convinced myself to go outside.

-How can that be, Ty? I've been lying here the whole time. I never saw you leave.

-You were asleep. Dozing anyway. And I went outside.

-Amazing! Shit! What is it like out there?

-Was night-time, so it was dark. And there was a lot of rain coming down. I saw some houses and stuff. Pretty cool.

-Why didn't you wake me? You could've brought me to see!

-Nah.

-What do you mean, "nah"?

-You wouldn't have come.

-I would've. You could've given me some of the Woozy Brew. I could've found into that same logic that led you out there. Shit.

-Oh well. I'm sorry, Ki.

-Well, are you going out again some time?

-Not for at least a few days.

-Why that long?

-It's gonna take a while to find enough spiders. I want Sally to be impressed.

-How do you know that spiders will impress her? She might be afraid of spiders.

-Maybe. But I gotta try. She could be impressed at how many I hunt down.

-How many have you got so far?

-Three. But the big one killed the other two.

-Stupid. You should try keeping them separate so they don't eat each other. Ever though of that?

-Yeah, I realised that was the problem. I'm trying to make some spider-compartments in my plastic spider-maze. It's gonna be pretty cool.

-So aren't you gonna tell me about this "Sally"?

-Nah.

-"Nah"? Why not?

-What's to tell?

-Sweet Jerry Jesus, man. Who is she? Where did you meet her? What's she like?

-Well, okay. She's a girl. I met her in the underpass. She's got blonde hair. She's pretty cool though.

-What's an "underpass"?

-It a darkish place you walk, under the road with all the cars.

-Cars exist? Too cool!

-Yeah. Scary, but kinda cool.

-So, you've arranged to meet Sally again?

-Nah. I was pretty scared. I only managed to ask her name and then I needed to come back home.

-Then how will you find her again?

-I'll just try the same place.

-The underpass?

-Yeah.

-You expect her to be there next time you go out?

-She might be. I gotta try.

-Sure thing... I guess. Do you need any help catching those spiders? It looks difficult with there being so many.

-I can manage fine.

-Yeah, but two of us could catch more spiders in less time. Then we could go out all the sooner.

-I'm not in a rush. I'm pretty scared to leave again anyway. I want to build up to it in my own time.

-If I help catch spiders with you, you'll get a lot more spiders in the end, and Sally could be even more impressed.

-I want her to know I caught ‘em all by myself. If she knows you helped, she'll think I'm a wimp.

-So what if she does?

-Then she might not kiss me or anything.

-So what? Why do you want her kissing you, Ty?

-I think it would feel strange and nice maybe. I gotta try.

-Eww... I guess it might, though. Could she kiss me too if you introduce me?

-I dunno. She might if you impressed her.

-How could I do that?

-I dunno. Use your imagination.

-I could wear my orange and pink shawl I've been making.

-Nah, don't do that. She'll think you're a sissy. You'll never get any action that way.

-"Action?" What do you mean by that?

-You know. What mom and dad used to do. It would be fun.

-Eww! Why would I wanna do that?

-It might be nice. You're a grown man now. That's what grown men and women do.

-Only if they get married.

-Maybe she'll marry you.

-I thought it was you who wanted to do kissing and stuff.

-She could marry both of us, and we all could roll around and cuddle and stuff.

-It sounds scary.

-Yeah, I'm scared too. But we've gotta try. Can't be wimpy about this.

-Do you think I should collect spiders to impress Sally?

-You could. It's a good idea. If we both impress her separately, she might want to marry us both.

-Is she even pretty?

-Yeah. And her boobs are pretty cool.

-Could you draw me a picture?

-I'm not into that anymore. We're grown men with facial hair. We shouldn't still mess with crayons.

-But it's fun.

-We've got more important things to do. If you want to meet Sally with me, you gotta grow up and learn to be more tough.

-I might understand your logic more if I could have some Woozy Brew.

-Alright. Only a few sips though. Just for bravery to hunt spiders.

-(sips) Yeah! I'll be a Spider Hunter like you! This Sally person will think we're tough and want to have our babies.

-Right on. Now mom and dad are gone, Ki, we can do anything. It's gonna be pretty cool.