As you may have noticed, I'm doing some renovations around here in the spirit of a fresh start. I had a kind of plunge into blackness a few days ago, and a loss of perspective. At the same time I felt rather sick of all the previous entries and removed them from view. I was reading something I'd written and a voice said, "Somebody shut me up or put me down or something."

I'm also suffering in more of a physical way tonight. I appear to have developed a mouth infection of some sort. How, I don't know. I haven't been french kissing any stray Labradors or winos on the street (those days are behind me). But the back of my mouth, near my jawbone, hurts and it's very painful to swallow. I peered down a reflection of my throat in the mirror, and the back of my mouth looks infected. I probably need antibiotics, but getting a doctor's appointment this close to christmas is going to be near impossible.

For now, I've gargled some TCP (yech!), eaten a tangerine (for the vitamin C), drunk a lot of water, sucked a Dequacaine, and then drank more in an attempt to remove the taste of TCP and Dequacaine.

At the moment, then, I'm seeking sanity and comfort. I also owe somebody an email.

Cosmetic changes to this journal soon. Maybe another photo so you can have my ugly mug glowering at you every time you come by http://journalscape.com/mattshute

Great; I suppose at least I'll get a feeling of privacy here when I'm the only reader.

Later, for now.

M