I can't sleep tonight. I still am having major anxiety about this new apartment. I'm just not as excited about it as I want to be. I'm excited about the bathtub though. It's a very romantic kind of apartment and I love it. I really do. And if I wanted to stay in this area, I'd probably stay in this apartment forever (or at least this building, and at least until I felt like buying a place).

I had a dream last night that I quit my job and moved to England to live with Kim. This would normally just be one of those "well, isn't that a nice thought," kind of dreams, except that now I really want to do it. It sounds like fun. And it's also too much to ask. Not that I won't see if I can at least get out there for a short time. I miss Kim. And in my dream it was nice because I spent the whole time going to pubs, jogging, sleeping, playing WoW, and most of all (and this was the part that makes it different than what I'm currently doing here) writing. I spent most of my days writing. I wrote a LOT. Not necessarily high-quality stuff, but you have to suck every few pages or so, and then edit edit edit before you can get something good. It doesn't just come perfect the first time (although I'm sure people will disagree). I even edit my blog sometimes. Haha.

But it was so relaxing and nice. I got to write. That was my goal for six months. Just write. I put my laptop to the sort of use that I want to be putting it towards. :) *sigh* So crazy idea #718 came from a dream. I'm looking at my box of journals that I drug out of my closet yesterday. I have all these notebooks and journals and random scraps of paper that I wrote all over when I was in high school, and they just look dead to me now. I haven't added to that pile much since then. I have journals, sure, but not writing journals. Just personal "whoa is me, life sucks" kind of journals. Those are the ones that keep me sane. But they're not working so well anymore. I just want the time and most of all, the energy, to write. And I could make the time. But I don't have the mental energy to do it these days. I'm not on the sort of schedule that would make that possible. I did so much writing when I was on a night schedule. Could someone please make my dream come true? Please?

Okay, done begging now.