The holiday cookout/picnic creates a kind of spaciousness for me, even when I'm tired and don't much feel like it. If I invest myself in it, it usually transforms the little I put in and yields some kind of internal bounty. Especially when it creates some family memories.

I spoke with my kids recently about some of the things in life that are only enjoyable when we invest in them. Not ice cream (unless it's home made!) and tv for the most part -- enjoying these demands little of us and gives a quick return on the minimal investment. But learning to play an instrument, trying to create traditions, building a truly deep friendship -- all of these demand the kind of commitment and personal investment that it is easier to neglect in the short run. I'm glad for a few rituals that place an expectation on me to invest myself -- even cooking a burger over a grill is a sign to a deeper way of living.