Ok. I started antidepressants in January. And the biggest difference in me is much less social anxiety, and a little better mood overall. When I'm depressed and stressed, interpersonal conflict tends to cut through me like a knife. And I tend to play things close to the vest.

I've noticed now that in the past few weeks I've become more playful, more willing to risk a little joking in the "real" world and in the blogosphere. As I feel a bit more robust, I also seem to feel others are a bit more robust. But joking is always a bit risky -- have you read a person right that they can take an affectionate jab in a certain area? Or will you hurt them with it?

I tend not to joke to early in a friendship. I'm often so deadpan that even people who know me aren't always sure if I'm joking or not. Generally I try not to tease unless it is done in an area I believe the person receiving the tease has no doubt of my positive regard for them.

Anyways, the medicine does indeed threaten to help produce silver linings in Mr. Cloudy's demeanor. We'll see how this experiment goes. It isn't the first time for me, but it is a new medicine this time. And it still doesn't remove all neurosis, since I naturally wonder whether some would vote for the old Mr. Cloudy, or whether the "medically improved" Mr. Cloudy has hurt anyone (and no I'm not secretly pleading for positive reinforcement -- just pointing out that there are still and always plenty of room for exploring who I "really" am, or really am going to become).