Overfortyandlovingit.com was hacked. I am mystified as to the reason why -- it's not like that poor baby got a lot of traffic. It was quite the ordeal to get it restored to the bare bones, but thanks to my fellow goddess and the good folks at Hostmonster, we have something to work with.

Whack.

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When I was a young mother, we didn't have a lot of cool products to help with the mess of taking care of a child. The only weapons we had at our disposal were tissues, generic baby wipes, and garbage bags. Since children are normally oozing disgusting substances out of every available orifice, it was a constant battle to keep up.

These days, there are lots of helpers.

Boogie Wipes - specially formulated to help dissolve the cement-like properties of dried boogers and to help make the wiping-the-nose ordeal as pleasant and fun for both mother and child as possible. (Oh, really? Like that maneuver will EVER be popular with either.)

Yak Saks - to catch vomit as it happens. (Yeah? You really think you're going to catch it? Good luck with that. Evidently you've never experienced a Projectile Vomit that defies the laws of gravity.)

PeePee TeePees - actually, this might work fairly well. It's a little tent you put over your child's hose during a diaper change so the little darling doesn't hit you in the face with a fragrant stream of urine. However, urine tends to follow the same effed-up laws of gravity that the Projectile Vomit does.

Poo-Pourri - a spray that can be used in a diaper, a diaper pail, or wherever the stench of a particularly dangerous poo permeates the air. (Like after a meal of beans.) As a veteran of many an eye-watering delivery of yesterday's dinner processed through the GI tract of a small child, I'm finding it a little hard to believe there's a spray that can counteract what amounts to a biological weapon of mass destruction.

Hooter-Hiders - this is not a cleaning or protective type product, per se. This is a portable tent-like structure designed to hide the disgraceful and horrifying sight of a bare breast, complete with a nipple, doing what breasts were created to do -- feed a baby. I guess if you're not feeding a baby, it's okay to flash a boob, but if you are -- hide it at all costs.

Whack.

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Tiger Woods is taking an indeterminate leave of absence from the game of golf. He wants to take the time to try and become a better husband and father. He's asking for understanding and privacy for him and his family through this difficult time.

Oh, it's difficult all right. I can't even imagine. But my GAWD! The scope is just mind-boggling to me. I feel so awful for his wife, with one skanky ho after another blurting their trash out on national TV. If you actually had a relationship with someone, why, why, why would you go on TV with Meredith Viera and blat it all out? Just exactly what do you think to accomplish with that?

One of the skanks took exception to Joy Behar calling her a "hooker" on The View. Really? If you didn't act like one, you wouldn't be called one. Rachel Uchiteil's lawyer actually sent a letter to ABC demanding a retraction.

Tell your client to sew up her va-jay-jay, okay? Then you wouldn't have these problems.

I've heard the report that in addition to the stable of women Tiger had on the side, he also spent in the neighborhood of $60k on professional prostitutes. O-O

Last, but not least, Tiger's lawyer has issued a cease and desist to all media outlets on naked photos of Tiger that might surface. According to the C&D, this is not an admission there are actually naked pictures of Tiger available, and IF there were, they were taken while Tiger was sleeping and most likely doctored or photoshopped.

Yeah. Like I'm buying that. Why even issue a C&D if there's nothing out there?

WHACK.

Bless his wife, and oh, those children. What a mess.


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I'd love to see Avatar in the theater, and I might try to figure a way to pull that off. It looks amazing.