Almost halfway through the Big Project, and it's going okay. 100 articles on the same subject is a lot harder than it sounds, let's just say that, shall we? I find it's better if I just set goals every day and try to fulfill them, although I tend to be on the ambitious side and when I don't have a check mark by each and every thing I've written down, I tend to get a panicky feeling. Still, at the end of the week when I recap, I find I've done better than I expected and I'm still hitting the mark.

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I realize the scope of this blog has changed a bit, but the truth is I've been burned pretty badly and I'm not interested in getting burned like that again. Personal things remain...personal, but I'd be lying if I said I don't feel a bit...sad, I guess, about not blatting all my shiz-niz like I used to. I guess I used to think by blogging publicly about my life's experiences I could reach out and touch people, but that might have been hubris on my part and it's probably better for everyone this way.

That being said, I just want to say I miss my momma. It has gotten better, and if you had said that to me even two months ago (and many people did) I would have thanked you politely and privately thought you were full of shit. I still have moments, I still have days of feeling like I'm living in the Twilight Zone and I have spent many an hour just bawling. I will never get over her loss, methinks, but I am (slowly) getting back to functioning levels and that's a relief.

Grief is sneaky. It waits for the times when you least expect it to rear its head, and then something as simple as a commercial, a picture, a turn of a phrase, and BAM! Right between the eyes, motherheifer.

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I have not forgotten Pallas. I think I've figured out where I took a wrong step, and the good news is it's an easy fix. The bad news is paying work has to take precedence, so she'll have to wait a bit longer. She's not happy about this. She actually yells at me in my head, especially when I'm about to fall asleep. The bitch is LOUD. I just tell her that when she pays the bills, she can call the shots, but until then I'm the one in charge. She laughs at that.

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I have embraced healthy eating, and it's not so bad. I've replaced coffee with hot chocolate (okay, not that HC is that much better, bear with me) and Pepsi with carrot juice and water (still working on the water thing, but carrot juice is actually MUY YUMMY.) I've quit frying anything, sneak spinach into unsuspecting dishes, switched snacking on chips to nibbling on hummus and various fruits (not at the same time.) White bread is for the birds (literally) and I've become quite the gourmet soup-maker. Oatmeal and yogurt are staples of the morning, and portion control is much easier to maintain if foodage is spread out at regular intervals. That part is hard, because once I'm in the Writing Zone I am too prone to forget that I need to eat.

The tummy appreciates my efforts. Pain is a great motivator.

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I finished reading "Under the Dome" by Stephen King.

It was okay. Of course, any time I pick up a King book my expectations are probably way too high. It was an enjoyable read, but there seemed to be something missing. For one thing, three of his characters had names starting with the same letter and it was hard for me to keep track. (So noted -- name change in my own book.) The villain was too much of a villain -- he had no redeeming qualities whatsoever. (Again noted.) And I think there were so many characters it was difficult to develop any one of them to a depth that King is usually so good at. Plus the end made the premise, while interesting, rather silly.

A little bit of a disappointment, but like I've said a hundred times or more, a bad SK book is still better than the best of a lot of other authors I can think of.

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I think I'll dip back in to Roland's world for a reminder of just how brilliant King can be. In Roland's honor, I'll leave you with this video, which the GC and I agree is Roland's theme song:


What have I become? My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away in the end.
And you can have it all, my empire of dirt.
I will let you down.
I will make you hurt.



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And lest you think, mistakenly, that's it's all doom and gloom all the time, here's a bit of fluff to ease you :)

Of course you can't become
If you only say what you would have done,
So I missed a million miles of fun.

Steal My Sunshine

Now I'm off to indulge my tribal lunar speak. :)