today is "take back control" day. all the bugs are diminishing and i can get the house cleaned i think. i worked about half a day and bought some files for my home office and i can get all that squared away - somewhat - and work on a calendar trying to schedule everyone's activities (ok, it's mainly my daughter's activities. our activities seem to revolve around hers. me? social life...nah!!!)

and tomorrow is the big day!!!!! my little daughter, my little baby girl, my LAST baby goes to middle school. i'm trying to stay positive - i'm scared for her and that's all there is to it. she's such a tender heart i'm afraid someone, someday is going to tear her to shreds. and it will probably happen at some point. am i a smart enough mom to help her thru it? i don't know...say a prayer for both of us.

we were talking yesterday about her first day at kindygarden. (you know that's how they all say it!!) her in her little navy jumper and white shirt, braids, little white sandals - HELLO???? where did the last 6 years go? or the last 20 for that matter? i walked her in, got in the car, and cried all day. i think i was crying before i got out of the building. it happened again when she went to first grade. the girls i used to work with reminded me that i cried every day for a week! she's fine - i'm the one having separation anxiety.

now the question...why is it worse with girls? i had some of the same feelings when my son went to school, but not so bad. is it because i'm older? smarter? more in touch with my kid's feelings now that i have more experience? or is it because she's a girl - a sensitive, tenderhearted little girl? i try not to be sexist - i really do - my son is sensitive and sweet too. maybe i just didn't realize it back then. maybe the knowledge has come with all the years of experience.

i'm sure it will go fine...for a while. she's doing her third day of volleyball tryouts right now. i hope she makes it. we're known for being a clumsy bunch - not real athletic either. but she loves to play and that's what's important.

i'll let you know how it all goes...