so it's september. it's coooooool here. nice. we opened windows tonight and i could smell the soft rain we had today blowing in on the breeze. ahhhhhh, fall. and the mosquitos are gone. for now. does anyone know the real purpose of a mosquito???

things are calm, it feels as tho the earth is getting ready to start hibernation mode, at least in my neck of the woods. i have friends in australia who are starting to see their tulips peek through.

i only wish it were slowing down. only in my mind i'm afraid. summer seems so hurried and sweaty - who did that song, summer in the city...back of my neck gettin dirty and gritty? or something like that. fall feels a bit slower to me even if it's not. the wind blows calmly, the leaves fall silently to earth. it just feels more relaxing.

we're indoors a little more, all tucked warmly into our little lives. most of us. let's not forget those who have no homes and will spend many a night looking for a warm and safe haven from the cold yet to come.

and hey, soon we'll have halloween and thanksgiving and christmas - for those of us who celebrate it. i am perfectly happy to wish you a happy hanukkah or kwanza - whatever you'd like to celebrate, but please don't take my christmas. (you can't anyway, even if you go to the supreme court!!) i respect your religions and traditions and i thank you for respecting mine.

it's so quiet here tonight. just the rustling wind. and the sometimes very loud thoughts in my head!! i feel as tho i should set some goals for the next few months. i need to do a lot more work for work or i'm not going to have any money come oct 5. i better get busy on tuesday. i want to get the house cleaned tomorrow and start painting, the house and some canvas. my dream job is to be a beatnick and start painting again and be able to eek out a living selling some stuff. and make some jewelry to sell. i need to find a place to set up shop so to speak. i don't do well wearing suits and dress up clothes. matter of fact i don't enjoy being out there in the rat race at all, making nice with folks when there are so many other things that require my attention that really matter. my home, my family, my friends. isn't that everyone's dream? to be able to find a way to make money that isn't morally repugnant, enjoyable, and leaves time for the really precious things we have and actually want to tend to???

don't get me wrong, i like most of the people i meet in a day's work. i have a great boss and we have a good time working together. but there are times, like everyone has i guess, where i need to be here, at home, or with someone who really needs me, rather than humping it for a major corporation. and time is running out. my life is prolly half over by now and i'd really like to get started on that dream soon. not that i don't have a lot of years left to live (i hope!!) i just don't want to spend them working for "the man". does is show??? that i grew up in the 70's?????

my little katherine is always saying how she hates money - how it ruined everything!!! smart kid, that one!!

i guess i should stop writing and start painting, huh???

just trying to sort it all out, ya know??

i'll let ya know how it goes.

change is coming. again!!