my daughter and i went to my friend's house in tennessee this past friday and just got home a while ago.

i say "house" but it was actually on a mountaintop. it was only 3 short days. not even 3 whole days. but we will go back as soon as we can.

it was as close to perfect as i've ever been. it was cold, but the house was warm and cozy. it was a bit scary being tucked back into the woods like that, but we weren't afraid. my daughter rode a horse for 2 hours yesterday. we ate, laughted, talked, hugged, cried, slept, went to church, shopped, stared at the mountains, bottle fed baby lambs, nursed a sick goat. we did so much i can't even remember. but everything we did we did slowly, as if time was slipping by without our noticing. we weren't ever in a hurry. all the people we ran into were nice, helpful, warm, friendly. and those were the strangers!!!! her family and friends were indescribable.

it was quiet. the kind of quiet that becomes the sound you hear constantly, or is it a lack of sound, interspersed with other soft sounds???

i could hear the horses tramping around in the woods. i could hear the stream running down the mountainside by her house. i could hear the lambs bleat every so often. i could hear a shot from a hunter's gun and the bark of the dogs occasionally. i can still hear my friend's quick girlish laughter. i heard soft music playing from her warm kitchen.

i could smell leaves, and horse manure and hay and wool from the lambs. i smelled fires burning from trash piles, and sausage sizzling in the skillet and bread in the oven. i smelled clean cotton sheets and cinnamon spice candles. i smelled my daughter in the bed beside me, clean from her bath, rid of the horse dander and poo.

i saw mountains covered in red and orange leaves. mountains with the sun shining on them that looked as tho they were on fire. i saw my friend's tiny little face, smiling and laughing and crying when we left. i saw the sweet faces of the baby lambs, and the sad look in the sick goat's eyes. i saw the horses, young and old, eager for a ride or a rub. i saw the pair of white doves, cooing and hiding. i saw the stream, clear and cold with the sunlight glittering on it, rushing down the mountain. i saw the wool scarves my friend had knitted for her recently deceased husband to keep him warm throught the last winter of his chemotherapy. i saw the bright full moon come up behind the trees last night, and i saw it set behind that firey red mountain at 6 this morning. i saw my friend's future daughter in law take my daughter under her wing, and not only saddle the horses, but show her how and why you do it a certain way. and teach her to ride. a perfect stranger, and yet this 21 year old precious child treated my daughter as if she were her own sister.

i got to feel the frailness of my friend, her shoulders shake with laughter and tears. i held her farm roughened hand at church. i got to feel the soft wool of the lambs, and their funny little rabbit like teeth on my fingers when the bottle had emptied of it's milk. i felt the cold wind of the night, and the warmth of the house, soft lights glowing in the windows, welcoming me in. i stroked the horse's manes, both silky and rough. i felt the tears slide down my face when we left and drove thru town to the interstate, and i wiped the soft tears from my daughter's eyes just moments ago as i tucked her into bed, sad from having to leave the mountaintop.

to say it was special leaves so much unsaid.

somebody please tell me why i had to come home???????