i wonder how many people's lives we could improve if we took all the money AND all the time we spent shopping for christmas presents for people who don't need anything and spent it giving to those who really do need things like food, medical care, clothing, shelter.

i'm guilty too. i always overspend on presents, especially for the kids. i've spoiled them over the years, ya know, not wanting to see them embarrassed or ashamed that they don't have as good as their friends? i hate it. i can't believe i've done that looking back. my priorities have changed over the years. i never ask for anything. i've even gotten my husband used to making donations in my name for gifts for me, but he still buys stuff for me that i don't need.

i mean really, how many diamonds, pearls, rubies does a woman need??? i tell him specifically to not buy them and he does anyway. he says he's always safe buying jewelry. i wonder if he really knows my heart's desire sometimes. and i've explained it to him many many times.

am i complaining? maybe. i know i sound spoiled, and in so many ways i am. i realized many years ago that there are ways to spoil a person that don't cost a thing, except some time, a little effort. i'd rather he take all that money and give it to someone who really needs it. NEEDS it.

i know, i'm rambling. these are the same thoughts i have every year at christmas. it just drives me crazy.

i'd like nothing more on christmas day than to wake up and go to the homeless shelters and feed folks.

actually, i'd like nothing more each and every day than to be able to go somewhere and help others. alas, i'm not independently wealthy, and i don't like going hungry or living on the streets any more than the next person, so i must work instead.

but i still sit and wonder about these things...