i mean really really happy???

maybe if we're really happy we have nothing left to aspire to?

i dunno. if you figure it out, let me know please.

i've just seen and talked to so many people lately who aren't happy, who aren't satisfied with their lives.

me? i'm in another transition state. i think we're always in some kind of transition. my life is half over and it seems i keep waiting for it to begin, for something to happen, but i also feel like it just keeps getting better, so i'm happy. broke, car fritzing out on me, missing ma peeps, worried about some folks i love dearly, but happy.

i think we do the best we can with what we have and keep putting one foot in front of the other and moving along. i know there are alternatives, but they really suck.

****

baby girl turned 13 yesterday. her party will be next weekend. most all of her friends are out of town for the holidays. you know, gatlinburg, mexico, fun places like that.

the weekend dinner parties continue. we've changed to sat nite instead of fridays so baby girl can be here to share in the fun. she is usually with her dad and his girlfriend on fridays.

one of our dinner guests recently explained to me the difference between a dancer and a stripper. and yes, my son is still dating the dancer, off and on, but mostly on these days.

a dancer is putting herself thru school and a stripper just does it for the money.

she used to be in school but isn't anymore. maybe she still calls herself a dancer because she thinks about going back to school??? whatever. as long as he's happy i'm happy for him.

****

this has been a really weird week for me, christmas day especially. i mean things went really wacky and i'm oh so glad it's over.

the kids were happy with their stuff, and i got to spend the day with them and my dad and had phone calls from other loved ones, so it was good, but weird.

never a dull moment.

****

love and hugs people.