Fremont, CA – Despite describing himself as a proponent of geek culture, Andrew Colinsen, 26, of Fremont, CA, refuses to actually participate in any elements of geek culture, sources reported.

"We were gonna go see Return of the King on Friday," Colinsen's friend Geordan Monroe told reporters. "And then Andrew got all steamed and declared that [Director Peter] Jackson's removal of the Saruman scene completely violated the integrity of the film, and that not only was he not going to see the movie, he was going to destroy the DVDs of the first two movies. We all just sighed, because Andrew is always like that... but then it hit us: Andrew has gotten so geekily snooty about his geekiness that he doesn't actually do anything geeky anymore."

David Rosario, another friend of the group, agreed. "The RotK thing is just the tip of the iceberg. When Spider-Man came out, he started out insisting that everyone use the hyphen between 'Spider' and 'Man', as though the world would end if we didn't correctly separate the words. Then he heard that Spider-Man's web shooters were being made organic rather than mechanical, and he got into this rant about the destruction of his childhood idol on the altar of commercial closemindedness. The rest of us were like, 'Dude, he still does the finger thing to shoot 'em. It even makes sense that his spider-stuff makes those webs possible. So what's the big deal?' He didn't speak to any of us for like a week."

In addition, Colinsen has permanently boycotted the X-Men movie franchise (for its "betrayal of trust and ethics" in changing the backstory of the character Rogue from her comic portrayal), the Matrix movies (for the apparent science errors involved in use of human beings for energy purposes, described by Colinsen as "a slap in the face and an insult to any serious moviegoer"), and the entirety of the Star Wars franchise (for the midichlorians). But his judgments are not limited to cinematic geek experiences, according to friend and computer buff Tony Bushong.

"Oh, Andrew? I can't play anything with him anymore. We were gonna play Neverwinter Nights as a group online, but he started ranting about how they totally destroyed the D&D system with their modifications to Power Attack and Grease, and how failing to code in the ability to wield a one-handed weapon with two hands made it pointless to even try to play the game. This was pretty ironic," Bushong added, "since Andrew had, just last month, declared that he was never playing D&D again because of the Vancian magic system, the front-loaded Ranger, and the lack of Class Skill choices for the Fighter. We switched over to d20 Modern, but he began ranting about the abstract Wealth system, and finally declared that he was giving up d20 roleplaying games altogether because of the inherently flawed system of fixed-increment randomization. I guess we'll move over to GURPS or something from White Wolf... no, no, he's boycotted those permanently, too."

Colinsen's parents are confused but supportive. "Andrew has so much fun with all his science-fiction shows," his mother noted, "although he doesn't watch Star Trek anymore, ever since the writers did something bad to one of the characters... Kes, maybe? Or it might have been that Mister Worf. For awhile, he was watching X-Files, but something with that man that smoked all the time made him so angry that he stopped watching that, too. And gosh, he was very unhappy about that new Battlestar Galactica on the Sci-Fi channel, even though he loved to watch it as a little boy. Now that I think of it, he doesn't watch much science-fiction at all these days. I guess he's just grown out of it."

Colinsen himself remains adamant in his geek status, however.

"I can't help it if my standards are higher than others," he declared when questioned by reporters. "Science fiction and roleplaying games are a huge part of my life, and I am passionately dedicated to them. And I will always voice my opinion when somebody violates the integrity of something I hold dear – even if it means that I have to boycott everything science-fictional in the whole world just to show how committed I am to my principles."

Colinsen then proceeded to play with a crumpled piece of paper in his room by himself for a few minutes before declaring it "fatally asymmetrical", throwing it away, and sitting and staring at the wall for the rest of the afternoon.