Well - we are in the last few days of wb, we even made fuckedcompany today. If I hadn't already gotten my bitterness quota from the pittsburgh office closing at lycos, this one would bother me more. I don't feel any self righteous anger this time. Of course, I got a lot of that out here.

I'm just trying to care long enough to get the people who didn't fuck up out with their skins, and then I am out of there. Truthfully there is very little I can do, but I feel it is still my responsibility. These are the days of "not on my watch". Whether I agree with the policy or not.

The truth is I am basically out of a job on monday...unless I take money as a consultant. I'm not sure I care too. I don;t feel like watching people pack up my office. Touch my things. I know this is an opportunity to be "strong" and a "heroine" but I'm not up for it, nor do I think it will make a difference. The body's dead. Whether you bury it is a matter of hygene.

Everyone keeps asking me what I plan to do next. I'm not really sure. I'm in the mood for something messy - like clay or painting. I'm not really thinking about employement at the moment. In my best interest I will be taking next week off, focusing on my aip projects so I can past this quarter. Clean up my "interview portfolio". Create a new website Coming soon. And um basically see movies and relax. I'd say clean house - but honestly I've had my fill of dishwashers and kitchens.

I've been waking up at 6:30 these mornings. I don't really have insomnia -- more like the second cousin of insomnia. And somewhere I stopped doing my own work. Like I stopped drawing for me - and now only crank out whats due. I'm trying to find a way back there. I think the angst can be sated if I could only create again.