TAKES PLACE ON DECEMBER 23

The tradition of Festivus begins with an aluminum pole, During Festivus, the unadorned Festivus Pole is displayed, because it is "very low-maintenance," and also because the holiday's patron, Frank Costanza, "find[s] tinsel distracting."

THE MEAL

Meat loaf or spaghetti in a red sauce. In Festivus: The Holiday for the Rest of Us by Allen Salkin, drinking is encouraged with hearty beer, rum, bourbon, or wine.

AIRING OF GRIEVANCES

The celebration of Festivus begins with the Airing of Grievances, which takes place immediately after the Festivus dinner has been served.

In the Airing of Grievances, each person present at the celebration tells friends and family of all the instances in which they have disappointed him or her that year

THE FEATS OF STRENGTH

The Feats of Strength is the final tradition that is observed in the celebration of Festivus. Traditionally, the head of the household selects one person at the Festivus celebration and challenges that person to a running match. The person may decline if they have something else to do, such as work a double shift at H&H Bagels. Tradition states that Festivus is not over until the head of the household is pinned in a wrestling match.


So, Happy Festivus, my friends. But don't try and pin me; I'm wily.