So far in my tenure at Suburban Presbyterian Church I have performed three weddings. Interestingly, all three were the second wedding for at least one member of the couple, and two of them were for people who are significantly older than I am. Which really isn’t that big a deal, but just last week I was thinking about how I would like to do a wedding for a coupla kids, never married, fresh from college or something, with the whole crazy Bridezilla thing going on. Why not?

So last week I was asked to do a wedding for the daughter of a member. Senior pastor will be out of town, and she asked whether I could. I can, and am planning on it. This is a recent college graduate and her betrothed. Nice. Sweet.

I got back into the office this morning and our office manager said, “Have you talked to Mother of the Bride yet?” I hadn’t, and she said, with a tone and expression that you typically encounter when you're about to hear something a little juicy, “Well, I imagine that will be an interesting conversation… M.O.B. said that this wedding will involve a pregnant woman marrying a pregnant woman.” I said, “Really… huh. Mmm, OK,” and basically mumbled my way down the hall to my office.

Two women getting married!

I have known full well that, sooner or later, I would receive a request to officiate a gay wedding, but I really didn’t think it would be in my first two years as clergy. My mind was racing. What will I do? Would the congregation care? Would they even really know unless they were paying close attention? (The wedding isn’t taking place here.) It is currently against our denomination’s polity to do such things (although as I read it, we can perform commitment ceremonies, we just can’t use the word “marriage”). My inclination is to want to do it. But is it worth potentially losing my job over? I called R.

“You’ve got to talk to Senior Pastor about it,” he said, and did I hear bemusement in his voice?

First I wanted to confirm a few basic details about the big day. I got ahold of the Father of the Bride--er--Father of the Bride #1?
“Great, so, when’s the wedding… what time and where…”
[long pause on my part]
“And what’s the name of the fiancée?”

“Uh, well, I think he goes by Charlie, but his name’s Charles, last name… oh, I can never remember how to spell his last name.”

And I’m thinking, Charles?!?! Not Charlotte?

And then at last, I get it. (Say it with me...)

I’m the pregnant woman, marrying a pregnant woman.

And that is what we call a classic Brain Fart.

So now when I talk to the M.O.B., and if she expresses any sense of awkwardness about the situation with her daughter and the wedding, I can laugh to myself, because I was going somewhere so different.

And I guess I will fight another day for the rights of gays and lesbians in the church.