It’s fun to write something and see it show up in print with one’s name at the top. I’ve had this experience a few times: as a magazine intern in college and as an editor right after graduation, in a preaching journal, in the masthead of a worship resources magazine, and following a couple of letters to the editor. I had never seen my name appear in an actual book until yesterday at 5 p.m., when two copies of Book of Essays arrived on my doorstep with an essay I wrote nestled in its pages.

The book looks good. My name looks great! It's long and complicated and they got it exactly right. Most importantly, I am proud of what I wrote there. I’ve always wanted to be published, which is kind of a stupid thing to want, now that I think about it, sort of like wanting to be famous for its own sake. The point isn’t to see one’s name in print, but to write something that others might want to read and react to in some way. We will see whether that has been accomplished.

There is also Book #2, Devotional Book, which I hear has been published and will arrive soon. I have three poems published in that volume. Both of these books are relatively modest endeavors, no mass-market bestseller lists in their future, but hopefully they will find their way to people who need them. My desire “to be published” has been tempered considerably by countless visits to bookstores both small and mega and realizing just how many frickin’ books there are out there, more numerous than the stars in the heavens.

With the publication of Book of Essays, the clock is ticking. My bio includes both my name and the name of this blog. It is the first time I have made this leap, and I did so because I felt that the audience for the book might be interested in what happens here, not just in posts but in y’all’s comments. (Devotional Book does not have a bio, although all three of the poems appeared here first, again blurring the line between the real world and the blogoverse.)

Book of Essays deals with issues related to feminism. I would like to share it with my seminary friends and profs, and maybe with some folks in this presbytery, but there are some in my congregation who are uneasy with the f-word and the audience for this book would be limited to non-existent there (although I don’t think anything I personally wrote would be controversial in the least). But how can I say nothing about the book to my church? And even if I say nothing, sooner or later the news will get back to them. Flip to the back of the book and there I am: name, blog and serial number. And that, as they say, is that.

So, what to do? Just put it all out there with everyone and let the chips fall where they may? Or put it out there and privacy-protect a few of the more sensitive entries? Or say nothing about the Book of Essays and instead share about Devotional Book? I have always tried to be circumspect about what I write here—no confidential stuff, no real names, nothing that might be hurtful—but for one thing, the place is peppered with salty language (to mix up the spice images) and I don’t have the energy or inclination to go through and sanitize that. Not to mention the fact that this blog is almost two years old—will people feel like I’ve been living a double life all this time?

Real Live Preacher dealt with these matters once upon a time and decided to go for bald authenticity and transparency. It seems to have worked for him.

This issue came up here back in March, and Songbird made a wonderful distinction between being fearless and being reckless. I hope to be grounded in the former and not tip over into the latter.

Tick, tick, tick...