I have been having a little delayed post-partum baby blues, thinking about maternity leave coming to an end. I go back to work April 4, and I’m very much looking forward to the work and the people. However, much as I try not to, I’m doing some anticipatory sweating of small stuff. The good news is that we won’t be putting the Divine Miss M in childcare right away. I just can’t bear the thought yet. What that means is a combo plan of working from home, bringing her to the church with me, and having Gentle Church Saint watch her an afternoon a week. Eh. It’s an interim solution—I’ll do it as long as it works. Since she’s soundly rejecting the bottle at the moment—soundly—at least I know she won’t go hungry with me nearby.

(BTW, any advice on what to do with a baby who won’t take the bottle? We’ve tried many types of nipples, flow rates, times of day, bottle-givers, etc. Pretty much the only things we haven’t tried are me giving the bottle, and offering a cup instead. Those are next on the list.)

I’ve realized a few things while on maternity leave:
• I have often said to myself and others that while there may not be enough time to do all the things one wants to do, that there is enough time to do what needs to be done. That’s really, really not the case with a baby, if those needs include flossing, daily prayer, regular exercise, meaningful conversations with friends, basic household management, and sufficient sleep.
• It is ridiculously easy for me to get stressed out by the previous point. The apparent scarcity of time is just supposed to be a matter of discernment, right? Like Martha, neglecting the one thing needful. Now I’m thinking, hmm, not so much. I am letting good, worthwhile, needful stuff go in favor of keeping this little one fed, clean and rested.
• Keeping this little one fed, clean and rested is sometimes all I’ve done in a day.
• That said, I am able to take many of the little baby annoyances a bit more in stride this time around, because I look at the three-year-old munchkin in our house and realize how quickly the time goes.
• Every weekend I have realized how crazy-busy the life of a family is, and that we in the church have to give people a good reason to get out of the house on Sunday morning. A really good reason.
• I miss lots of aspects of my job, as I knew I would, especially lately; but I have also enjoyed being at home, and that has been somewhat of a surprise. We are still contemplating the logistics of 3/4 time for me.

Next week I will be at Big Downtown Cathedral for a workshop on writing as pastoral and spiritual practice. Retired Office Manager will watch the Divine Miss M while I write each morning, then I’ll drive in and attend the small group sessions and perhaps dinner each evening. Aside from the drama around rejecting the bottle, M continues to be an easy-going gal; I think it will work fine on her end. It won’t be the experience it would have been without a baby, but what’s the alternative? To wait for the right time? No such thing. That much I do know.