Pity. The haiku is such an elegant art form, to be destroyed thusly.

Food-inspired verse:

(for m)
sand clings to baby,
slathered in sunscreen: sugar
on hot buttered roll.

(for c)
while you nap, others
buy lobster that will clamor
and die for dinner.

(for the fourth of july)
menu: red lobster, white
potatoes, blueberry pie:
God Bless the U.S.!