Last night was the second meeting of the Night Owls, a new women's circle at the church I serve. It's a nice group--we're getting to know one another and figuring out the format and flow of the evenings.

And speaking of groups...

1. Tell us about any group(s) you currently belong to. (e.g. book club, knitting circle, walking buddies, etc.)
Besides the aforementioned Night Owls, I also belong to the Writing Revs, a group of five clergywomen from this presbytery who get together twice a month to kvetch and critique one another's stuff.

I would also classify my CGs as a group, although we live all over the country and only get together a couple times a year. Next year is 10 years together!

Oh yeah, I'm also in a group called "Common Ground" that consists of 10 PCUSA clergy from a variety of theological viewpoints who also get together a couple times a year.

2. Do you feel energized or drained by being in a group situation? If the answer is "it depends," on what does it depend?
Generally, I feel energized. I am in E (extrovert) on the Myers-Briggs, although not a very strong E. I even get a charge out of many committee meetings!

I feel drained when
a) I am facilitating the group and it hasn't gone well
b) I feel the need to be guarded (i.e. when I don't feel safe in a particular group)
c) There is strong disagreement in the group. I know that the world would be boring if we all agreed and I do find a good argument energizing under the right circumstances. But my default is to seek harmony, especially in groups whose purposes are support and nurture, so I get exhausted by those kinds of vigorous discussions.

3. Is there a role you naturally find yourself playing in group situations? That is, do you naturally fall into the leader role, or the one who always makes sure the new person feels welcome, or the quiet one who sits back and lets others shine, or the host?
I do fall into the role of leader/facilitator in the absence of one. However, I try to express that through questions and nudgings to the group rather than filling in the silences with a monologue.

Hmm, I also just realized I will often be the one to break the tension/seriousness with a joke...

4. Handshakes vs. hugs: discuss.
Generally I'm a hugger, though not an overbearing one, and I'm a big believer in "safe" hugs with certain people (side-by-side around the shoulder, for example).

5. Ice breakers: a playful way to build community in a lighthearted manner, or a complete and utter hell of forced fun and awkwardness?
I've seen it happen both ways! I generally don't like ice breakers. If it's a large group I'd rather break them into smaller groups or pairs for discussion over the course of the gathering than thrust them into forced mingling right off the bat.

Bonus: If you answered "playful and lighthearted," share your favorite ice breaker.
I have seen some ice breakers work well; it depends as much on the group as anything else. On retreat a couple years ago our session (elders in the church) really had fun throwing the koosh ball around as they called out the recipient's name. We kept adding koosh balls and trying to do it faster and faster and that kind of play really put them in a different frame of mind.

I just remembered another one that was actually fun and interesting. At the Carrie Newcomer workshop recently we were each given five random "value" statements on individual slips of paper, such as "Social justice is one of my passions," "Hope is a verb," "Security is very important to me," "Compassion is one of my gifts." If the slips resonated with us, we could keep them; if not, we were to trade them with others. It was quite fun and very interesting.