There's a member of the church that's really been having a hard time and hasn't been in church in a long time. I talked to her over the summer and we talked about the possibility of my coming to visit sometime. Nothing was set, and the idea languished on my to-do list for months. Every time I looked at that item, "Visit Jane," I felt bad and vowed to do it the following week. Lather, rinse, repeat.

A few weeks ago I was talking to an elder who said, "Too often we sacrifice the good for the perfect." We each admitted how often we did exactly that. The next day I was making a list of errands and thought, Darnit, if I wait for the time to be right to Make A Pastoral Visit I'll never do it! I'm just going to stop by. I picked out a card from my stash and wrote a short note. I needed to go to the bakery so I picked up a loaf of bread for her and headed to her house.

I knocked on the door and heard the dog barking from inside the house, but no other signs of anyone home. After knocking a couple times more, I nestled the bread and the note inside the storm door and left.

It felt like a pretty feeble gesture. But if I'm honest with myself, I will admit I felt lighter. Something to cross off the list, for now. I also hoped the gift might pick her up just a little bit.

Last week I got a call from a friend of the woman I'd tried to visit. The woman had asked her friend to convey her great thanks and appreciation for the note and the gift, and the woman gave her friend permission to share some specifics about her situation--information she hadn't wanted shared with anyone at the church. The friend went on and on about how touched the woman was--it was the right thing at the right time, not "intrusive" at all. "You read that situation just perfectly," the friend said.

I read it perfectly?!

No! I didn't!

I did what I did because I didn't feel I had time or energy to do anything more than that. There was sincerity, but not a lot of intention, I must admit.

And, yet.