Caffeine, my mood-altering drug of choice, has been known to have some side effects, one of which is difficulty retrieving a familiar word, and withdrawal symptoms such as headache, fatigue, nausea and muscle pain, according to a Johns Hopkins University review of 66 studies.

Well, shucks, darlin', I could have told them that and pocketed the research fee myself. Even a 1-cup-of-coffee-a-day habit will produce the effect. Yup, I could have told them that, also.

When it's a Starbucks Red Eye, you capitalize EFFECT, and that's not an urban legend. Excuse me while I go refill my cup.