I am going to the dentist this morning, then to work after lunch. It is time to sacrifice my teeth for science.

I have been awake half the night thinking of (un)likely excuses why I have to cancel this appointment. My Aunt Sylvia in Bolivia has a liver problem.

No, too untrue. How about I have a hangnail that has been evaluated as stage three and needs a splint immediately? No, not covered by my insurance.

My knee needs kneading by a needy kitten and so I have to stay home. Now, that's just plain silly. I guess I'll have to...oh, gloriosky! I am saved! I can't find my dental membership card. Can't have your teeth probed and gums lanced if you don't have a card proving you are you and the dental insurance is valid, can you?

Unfortunately, you can. And the dentist takes money as well as insurance cards. I suppose I'm out of options and will have to go as a lamb to the shearing. Shucks.