It's taken me a long time, but I have finally come to terms with it: one aspect of the passive aggressive personality is that of fostering chaos as well as exercising procrastination.

For me, the first step in getting over something (such as anger at lateness and chaos) is to understand it and accept it. It is as it is.

The second step is to establish boundaries of some sort. Such as the kitchen and the computer room are mine and the rest of the house, back yard and all, can go to hell in a handbasket.

Once step one and step two are accomplished, the amount of stress reduction can be measured in bushel baskets.

Time to go grocery shopping and clean the kitchen (day off from work--hah!)