We shall have zero tolerance for sex, drugs and rock 'n roll. Er, let's change that to sex, drugs and guns. There. At no time whall we tolerate sexual harassment, drug use or paraphernalia, or weapons of any sort.

Result? Suspension from school for the 8-year-old who brought his father's pistol to school for show and tell. Transfer to another school for the first grade girl who brought her mother's marijuana stash to school for the pot luck. And finally (drum roll, please), suspension for the 5 year-old-boy playing "doctor" with a female classmate (note: classmate was not punished).

Zero tolerance is the refuge of the intellectually lazy and the ethically inept. It is so easy to set a rule and then blind and unquestioning, apply in equally and in all cases. No common sense need be exercised. Nor need we plead extenuating circumstances. We, the morally upright, can go back to our greedy and self-righteous pursuit of the good life, leaving these sinners behind.

I say Zero Tolerance for zero tolerance!