A newly discovered planet on the far side of space is capable of sustaining life. What a relief. We can stop worrying about global warming. Instead, we just have to work out how to make the 20 light year journey. Then, we simply need to build ourselves some giant spaceships.

We'll feel right at home on Earth Mark II as long as we remember to take our cars, fridges, TVs, and hair straighteners with us.

Oh, and of course, we will have to make sure that Target and McDonalds send their spaceships first so that when the rest of us get there, we will have plenty of places to eat and shop.

(with thanks to Jonathan Cainer)