My intention was to read a book a week, normally an easy goal for me. As I look at the reading list below, I realize that I haven't had any reading time since mid-February, since the time that my S.O. stopped driving and, therefore, stopped doing errands. He has ignored household tasks nearly completely since 2002, mostly blaming it on his Parkinson's Disease.

At first I was very angry, unable to understand how he could be so disabled from tremors that he could not put a few dishes in the dishwasher, add soap, and push the start button. Now I understand that it is part of his defense mechanisms, denial by ignoring. Doing the task would make him even more aware of his disability; sitting in front of the computer or sleeping enables him to pretend it isn't there. Now that I understand, I don't expect him to do any of it.

Recently, he failed his driving test and now is dependent on me for transportation. I am working on getting some kind of transportation access service for him, but even so, I will have to do all the errands.

And it's astonishing how many errands there are: groceries, hardware store, pharmacy, VA, my doctor, and on and on. I plan as carefully as I can to combine them into one package, one chunk of time and driving. Then I have to come home and nap. Damn MS!

After the nap, there are meds to set up, groceries to put away, meals to plan, house to clean, garden to weed and water, animals to groom, feed, and water. You know, the usual stuff. Folding laundry and putting it away sometimes get postponed until the middle of the week.

Last, but most certainly not least, responsibilities to my friends and my church and my brother- and sister-in-law and their offspring. Choir practice, Sunday services, committee meetings, caregivers group allow me to have activities that engage my heart and restore my sense of perspective and reconnect me with community, the earth, and the universe.

Oh, and did I mention, I work full-time also? That must be the reason I don't have time to read for pleasure.