When my mother died, I was shocked to discover that the sharks in the water smelled blood, the sharks being her two credit card companies and the blood being my money.

When I notified everyone of her death, her checking and savings account institution offered their condolences in a note enclosed with the final check, shutting down her accounts.

Her landlord refunded 30% of her last month's rent, along with the deposit and sent me a nice card, commenting that she had been a valued member of the community.

But the credit card companies were another story. She owed one of them about $700 and the other approximately $250 and they came after me to pay off her debt in total at once, or else.

I explained that she had just died, and that I had not had time to go through her papers (or photos or books or anything), that I was very upset and that I would get back to them as soon as I could.

Each week they contacted me, wanting to know when I was going to pay.

I'll tell you it pays to have friends, knowledgeable friends. I was informed that I had no legal liability to pay my deceased mother's debts from my own assets (she had none to speak of) and that I could tell them that their continued efforts to collect could constitute harrassment.

I understand that nowadays the collection agencies have "grief counselors" and use the soft touch to collect from the survivors, combining the unctuous tones of the funeral director with the sympathetic voice of a personal friend.

It strikes me as underhanded, somehow, manipulative, even, "working" clients in their most vulnerable feelings. They say things like, "Your mother will rest easy, knowing that her debts are paid." Or, "You want to pay her doctor, because you might need his medical care yourself some day." It's a low-key sales job.

What do you think? Ethical?