As I signed in this morning, I noticed a Disaster Preparedness pamphlet newly posted near the time cards.

It listed actions to take in preparedness for, and during, various disasters, such as

Earthquake [California, duh!]

Bomb Threat

Heavy Rain [we're turning into a desert]

Flood Conditions [see above]

Explosion [get the air freshener, quick!]

Disturbances [lotta disturbed people around here]

Riots [one more glitch in the payroll and....]

Shootings [rubber bands, anyone?]

Hazardous Materials [my coworker's desk]

Toxic Spills [check out the office refrigerator]

It was enough to make a body want to go home and hide under the bed. All the ills the flesh is heir to and now the threats from an uncertain world.

I want my blankie.