Once again, my employer has gone above and beyond the expected norm. To start our new year off right, we return to work to discover that we can't answer the office telephones.

That's right, folks. When someone calls, it gives half a ringtone (blurp!) and then goes straight to the message that we are closed for the holiday.

And not just any old message, either. The message we listened to (just to see what was going on) is from several years ago. My office person, who listened to it first, got a funny look on her face and said, "That's my voice. But I didn't record any message this year. What should we do?" Answer: damfino.

I've emailed the problem to what I think is the appropriate problem-solving unit, but I'm in no hurry to get it fixed. Makes for a nice, quiet day. I mean, I could go into a major problem-solving flurry of activity, but why should I? I'm done with trying to fix this dinosaur of a company.

Still though...curiosity makes me wonder how the message got activated, and why the ring tone is so short before the message cuts in. If it rang a couple of times before the message, we could jump on it.

Stop it! I'm not going to fix what I didn't break.