I have been so vigilant, for so long, it seems forever, keeping track of everything 24/7, lest some crucial detail fall through the cracks, be forgotten or corrupted, and the whole edifice upon which my future depends come crumbling down around my ears: finances, health, house, and so much more. I've really had more than enough of it.

It's been a long time since I felt safe enough to relax.

It's wearing on the spirit, not to mention mind and body. If I had my druthers, I'd ask for things to stabilize (it's hard to keep your eye on a moving target for long periods of time) and then it would be my hope that things improve, bit by bit, no matter how small the increments.

I know I'm being selfish, but here's my wish: I'd like some time to sit back and enjoy life. Some time to smell the flowers, play with my four-legged friends, plant my garden, read a good book. I'd like a chance to enjoy life before I become too old to do so. I'll be 70 this year and I feel Old Man Time's icy breath on my neck.

The irony is that I want to hurry up so I can slow down. And please, if there's anything most of all to wish for, a time in my old age when I can relax my vigilance and just enjoy. Simply be in the moment.

This is my prayer to the Universe.