As soon as I told N that I was ready to retire, he started talking about moving out to live on his own, discussing again moving back to live with me.

After all, once retired, I would have nothing to do with my time, right? I could revert to 24/7 caregiver, right? A life of cathing, diapers, bed changes, medications, cleaning up, etc., morning, noon, night, midnight, and on into the sucessive days.

Oh, no, that's not going to happen. I'd rather keep working. And he is not capable of taking care of these issues by himself, even with a hired part-time caregiver/companion.

He feels isolated and lonely. By his own choice, I might add, since he rejects all opportunities and contacts from other people. I'm his only contact point with the rest of the 6 billion people on the planet. Lucky me.

I'm tired of this game, this manipulation, this maneuvering, this calculating effort to pull me under control, to use me up. I feel obligated to maintain contact--I visit twice a week--but continued self-victimization by him to secure my services is NOT. GOING. TO. WORK.

One of his most prominent characteristics is persistence. He will keep at it until one of us is dead, and if you believe in reincarnation, beyond death into another life. He will try and try and try again.

Eventually, even granite is worn away by the dripping water. The fire burned out by constant wind (he's an Aquarius). Maybe I should just concede defeat now and get it over with.

No. I can be stubborn, too, now that I see what his game plan is.